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‘General Store’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Schitt's Creek: General Store

307. General Store

Aired February 21, 2017

When David has the idea of taking on the lease of the general store, Moira is undecided and could use her position on council to stymie his plans. Meanwhile, Alexis starts high school, and Johnny tries to improve the motel's offering with a continental breakfast.

Quote from David

Moira: David, there you are. I come bearing good news.
David: And what's that? Your friends at Christmas World are looking for a deeply embittered, mildly Hebraic-looking elf?!


Quote from Alexis

Jocelyn: So here's the thing about Marie Antoinette. Even though I love to eat cake, I think I'd be pretty annoyed with her myself. I do see your hand up Alexis, it's just that you probably haven't had a chance to catch up.
Alexis: Okay, it's just that she never actually said "Let them eat cake."
Jocelyn: Um well, that depends on who you ask.
Alexis: Hmm, well, I asked Kirsten Dunst, who played her in the movie. Um, that line was actually written years before Marie Antoinette allegedly said it. And um, Kirsten also told me at the premiere that she was jealous of my bangs.
Jocelyn: Thank you for that contribution to the discussion, now-
Alexis: My friends used to call me Marie. And that was mainly because I was casually seeing Prince Harry, so there was the whole like, is she gonna be a princess thing. Um, but it's also because we were going through this very dark phase where we were just, like, partying too hard.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Oh, what a startling little tannenbaum. To whom do we owe our reciprocity for this yuletide gift?
Ronnie: It says Christmas World right on it.
Moira: Oh, I see! Sometimes the eyes won't allow the brain to see things at first. Like the cultural and economic benefits of a seasonally specific store.

Quote from Moira

Johnny: In here, Moira.
Moira: There are cinnamon buns in the lobby.
Johnny: Oh come on, Moira, Moira. These are for the continental breakfast we're offering at the motel.
Moira: Continental breakfast?
Johnny: They're for the guests.
Moira: How whimsical.

Quote from Stevie

David: I just find it extremely violating.
Stevie: Because your parents threw money at you?
David: Yes! They paid for everything, it's like a form of child abuse.
Stevie: Don't quote me on this, but it seems like their intentions were good. I mean, they didn't buy all the good reviews your galleries got.
David: Who's to say?!
Stevie: Yeah, I mean, they do give me a small weekly stipend for hanging out with you, so...

Quote from Alexis

Jocelyn: Good morning, class. I'm sure you have all noticed there's a new student in our midst. Let's give a warm welcome to Alexis Rose. She is here until the end of the semester to finish her diploma. [applause] Okay, so let's open our books.
Alexis: Oh, um, I'd just like to say a few words.
Jocelyn: Okay, we're actually just running a little bit behind.
Alexis: Hey. So as Jocelyn said, my name is Alexis, and yes, I did not finish high school. Um, it's this long, boring story involving a yacht, and a famous soccer player, and like a ton of mushrooms. Anyway, I think it would be so great if we could just go around the room, and everyone could tell me like, five things about yourself.
Jocelyn: Actually, we don't have time for that today. Maybe you could talk between classes, or after school, or on the weekends.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Wow, this could be very exciting. You know, a continental breakfast could add an extra star on our rating.
Twyla: Oh wow, so how many stars would that give you?
Johnny: One.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: It's a start, it's a start, it's a big step.
David: What exactly goes into a "continental breakfast?"
Johnny: It's a breakfast, David, it's a light breakfast with pastries and coffee.
Alexis: What's continental about that?
Johnny: It's for business travellers, travelling the continent, eating breakfast, and continental travelling.
Moira: That doesn't sound even remotely correct.
Johnny: Well, it's European, Moira, so...

Quote from Moira

David: Anyway, just don't trust anyone that wants to be your friend on the first day, okay?
Moira: And you mustn't let anyone push you around, I will not relive that bullying nightmare.
Alexis: I wasn't bullied.
Johnny: She doesn't mean you, Alexis.
David: Uh, it wasn't that bad.
Moira: That's the heartbreaking part. He was so blissfully unaware.

Quote from Moira

Alexis: Okay, I'm gonna go.
David: Okay, I think you're brave.
Johnny: Well, that's very nice of you to say, David.
Alexis: Okay, he's being sarcastic!
David: What?!
Johnny: Oh.
Moira: It's a defence mechanism. From all the bullying.
David: Oh, my God!

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