David Rose Quotes Page 1 of 39

Quote from Rock On!

David: Look at you, just drowning in other people's phone numbers.
Alexis: Who was that hunk with the teeny-weeny little polo?
Patrick: His name is Ken.
David: Ken! Just when I thought it was impossible to find a thirty-something named Ken!

Quote from Roadkill

David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!

Quote from The Drip

David: The gallery worked with Janet Kempfluugen.
Johnny: Kempfluugen?
David: She's a Brooklyn based performance artist. She's a big deal. Anyway, um, she would walk into the space wearing a clay mask of a fawn, remove her clothing and breast feed members of the audience. It was a commentary on income inequality.

Quote from Honeymoon

Stevie: So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker.
David: That's fine.
Stevie: Okay, cool. But, uh, I only drink red wine.
David: Okay.
Stevie: And up until last night I was under the impression that you too only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?
David: I see where you're going with this. Um, I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine.
Stevie: Oh.
David: And I've been known to sample the occasional Rose. And a couple summers back I tried a Merlot, that used to be a chardonnay.
Stevie: Uh-okay.
David: Which got a bit complicated.
Stevie: Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines.
David: I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?

Quote from Friends & Family

David: I was thinking what if we did like a soft launch. Um, and you know, just test the store out on a small group of people. Did like an exclusive VIP guest list, and offered, you know, a friends and family discount as incentive.
Patrick: Huh, now it's sounding like you don't think people will show.
David: No, I do. I do think, um, that people will come. It's just, you know, I look to like Gwyneth who soft-launched the goop newsletter and now it's a thriving lifestyle publication slash empire, and...
Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it's up to you.

Quote from The Crowening

Patrick: I have to say, David, I'm a little shocked that you agreed to do this, I know how fearful you are of heights.
David: Hmm. Well, "fearful" makes me sound like some Dickensian orphan with a chronic illness. It's more an aversion.

Quote from General Store

Moira: David, there you are. I come bearing good news.
David: And what's that? Your friends at Christmas World are looking for a deeply embittered, mildly Hebraic-looking elf?!

Quote from Milk Monkey

David: You know, being approachable isn't that important anyway, The Queen hasn't smiled since the 70's, and her birthdays are still very well attended.
Moira: Exactly! Wait. What are you saying?

Quote from Happy Ending

David: Patrick, I've never liked a smile as much as I like yours. I've never felt as safe as I do when I'm with you. [crying] I've never known love, like I have when we're together. It's not been an easy road for me. But... knowing that you will always be there for me at the end of it, makes everything okay. Patrick Brewer, you are my happy ending.
Patrick: [chuckles]

Quote from Moira's Nudes

David: Nothing's coming up.
Moira: What search words did you use?
David: Uh, your name and "nude." Three words I thought I'd only have to type if I was held at gunpoint.

Quote from Stop Saying Lice!

David: Um, am I reading this right?
Alexis: "The Moira's Rose's Garden."
Johnny: Okay, look, I went back and forth on the name a couple of times, and I may have confused the engraver.
David: The Moira's Rose's Garden. So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?
Alexis: I don't think that there are enough apostrophes.

Quote from Friends & Family

Jocelyn: Um, David, I need to ask ya a little question about this baggy of Joshua tree tea?
David: Sure.
Jocelyn: Is it drugs?
David: Uh, no. It's loose leaf tea.
Jocelyn: Okay. Because it smells exactly like...
Roland: Oh, come on. Oh, wow. Geez, I didn't realize this place was a front.
David: It's not a front. That is a tea that Mr. Hockley makes out of a greenhouse on his farm. And now that I've said it out loud, I might have to double check.

Quote from Girls' Night

David: I'm sorry that I just know what looks correct. And this situation is not correct! Toilet plungers on display at the front of a store, is incorrect! Breath mints where the lip balms should be. Not correct! Not correct. These mountaineering shoes that my boyfriend is wearing, looking like Oprah on a Thanksgiving Day hike, incorrect.
Patrick: I'm sorry, what did you just say?
David: I said the breath mints need to move.
Patrick: I think it was something about your boyfriend's shoes?
David: Um. I don't remember saying that.
Stevie: Yeah, no, that's what I heard.
Patrick: Well hey, my boyfriend doesn't like the shoes, I could, I could take the shoes off.
David: I mean, or not. I don't remember saying it. So, you can do whatever you'd like.

Quote from Bad Parents

David: Why don't I start? Um, I'm miserable, drunk, and hate this game. So here's a hint. Sadly, I'm not drunk.

Quote from Moira vs. Town Council

Wendy: Now the candles, are they something that we would sell at a blouse store?
David: No, those are just decorative. Scent is a really important factor in defining a brand. Alexander Wang once fired my friend over the smell of his cologne. To Alex's credit, "Curve Pour Hommes" hasn't been the look since '97.