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‘Baby Sprinkle’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Schitt's Creek: Baby Sprinkle

410. Baby Sprinkle

Aired March 27, 2018

Jocelyn asks David to throw her a baby shower. Meanwhile, Alexis runs into an old friend, and Johnny and Moira attend a singles' event.

Quote from David

David: Okay, now this game is called sleepy mommy. Jocelyn's sitting on the couch, she's our sleepy mommy. Now mommy's had a very hard day with baby, and needs a bit of a break. And that's where we come in. We're each gonna take turns popping pills into mommy's mouth. Now unfortunately, these are breath mints, we couldn't afford actual benzo's, but the person that does get the most tranqs into mommy's mouth, will walk away with whatever's left of the soft cheese station.


Quote from Moira

Ricki: Often times in these situations, I ask a participant to go within, and to reflect why she might be having trouble connecting.
Moira: Connecting is my livelihood. No, it's these discount locks. I've tried every other one. [The single man from earlier waves to Moira] Ooh! You know what, John? You're right, we should go. Jocelyn has that bébé thing. Rene, pleasure as always.

Quote from David

Patrick: What's goin' on?
David: Well, um, Jocelyn came in here this morning looking like Adam Sandler on a red carpet. Poor thing is planning her own baby shower, so I volunteered to help.

Quote from Moira

Moira: David, why does this game feel vaguely familiar?
David: You invented it. We played it a lot growing up.
Moira: I can't remember playing.
David: That's because we got very good at it. I remember Alexis got one in from across the room once.

Quote from Patrick

David: She basically forced me into it! This isn't even her first baby!
Patrick: Oh, so it's more of a sprinkle, then.
David: What the hell is a sprinkle?
Patrick: No, it's like a shower, but for your second kid. It's not a full shower, it's like a sprinkle.
David: That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard.

Quote from David

Patrick: Uh, also booze and fish, not ideal for a pregnant woman.
David: Yeah, well, she's one person, and everyone knows you don't plan a whole party around one person.
Patrick: Maybe you do, if the party is for her.
David: Says who? Fine! Worst case scenario, she grazes at the soft cheese station.
Patrick: Are you sure that she can eat that?
David: This is why I hate babies!

Quote from Roland

Roland: Okay, guys! Where do you want me to hang the pinata?
Patrick: I'm sorry, is that supposed to be a baby?
Roland: Yeah, it's pretty realistic, isn't it? I got it at the dollar store in Elmdale. I didn't even have to pay for it, honey. They just gave it to me.
David: Yeah, don't think we can smash a baby with a stick tonight, but-
Roland: It's not a real baby, Dave.
David: The fact that you got it from the dollar store does make me wary of what's gonna fall out of it, though?

Quote from Roland

Jocelyn: Don't worry, Rolly, we're still gonna play the diaper game.
Roland: Ah, good!
David: Hi! What's the diaper game?
Jocelyn: Oh my gosh, it is so fun! We played it at Mutt's baby shower!
Roland: Basically, you melt different chocolate bars into different diapers, and then people take turns guessing...
David: Gonna stop you right there. I will literally do anything for us to not play that game.

Quote from David

David: Hi, Jocelyn. Is everything okay?
Jocelyn: Yeah. Why?
David: Um, I love your pajama set.
Jocelyn: Thank you. It's been a hectic morning, David, I'm not gonna lie.
David: Well, I lit a patchouli candle, so hopefully it'll calm your chi.

Quote from Jocelyn

Jocelyn: It's times like this I wish I had your eye for decorating and party planning. Roland's been trying to help me, offered off his movie posters, you know, but I just don't think that "The Pelican Brief" is festive enough for a baby shower.
David: Well, I'd have to agree.

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