David: Well, I'm sorry, I felt very conflicted about the whole thing.
Moira: Of course you were. Now will you be a doll, and fetch Mummy a knife?
David: A knife?
Moira: Oh, I'm sorry, I think you'll find one lodged in the middle of my back.
David: Okay, well, that's a lot.
Moira: And when you pull it out of my back...
David: Okay, I'm gonna take a shower.
Moira: You can plunge it into my heart!
David: Okay, all right.
Moira: Plunge it into my heart!

David: Okay, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car for 20 minutes, so that I can do my transcendental meditation before I fail this test.
Alexis: Okay, you are acting all sorts of crazy right now. This honestly does not matter. Nobody cares.
David: Uh, people care. I care, the driving examiner person cares.
Alexis: No, he doesn't. Trust me, people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you.
David: What does that mean?
Alexis: You always over think everything, and that's why you fail all the time.

Moira: I checked in one whole guest. Answered his questions, and believe me, it was a laundry list.
Johnny: I see, and is there any chance you might've been a little brisk with this guest?
Moira: Not in the slightest. It was a master class in patience.
Johnny: Moira, I just got an alert that someone has posted a terrible review of this motel.
Moira: Oh no, John. Well dear, if I've learned anything from the theatre, it's whatever they say, you cannot take it personally.
Johnny: Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is not about me.
Moira: "I was served by an intimidating woman at the front desk, with an unrecognizable accent, and scary-looking attire." And what might this have to do with me?
Johnny: Moira?
Moira: Oh, that fussy little fucker! After niggling me with relentless demands.

Johnny: What is that? Is that a new lamp?
David: Yeah, I'm thinking of bringing home-ware into the store, so that's a write off.
Johnny: That's a write off?
David: Yeah.
Johnny: Do you even know what a write off is?!
David: Uh, yeah. It's when you buy something for your business and the government pays you back for it.
Johnny: Oh, and who pays for it?
David: Nobody, you write it off.
Johnny: Who writes it off?!
David: I don't know, the govern- The "write off" people! Why are we having this conversation?