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‘Moira vs. Town Council’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Schitt's Creek: Moira vs. Town Council

206. Moira vs. Town Council

Aired February 9, 2016

Moira is determined to beautify the town, so she takes her case to the town council. Meanwhile, David starts spending on his work's credit card believing the purchases will write-offs, and Alexis feels she and Mutt are growing apart.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Well, word to the wise, son, don't spend all your money at once.
David: I thought you weren't getting involved.
Johnny: No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying, word to the wise, is all.
David: Okay, what does "word to the wise" even mean?
Johnny: Word to the wise. When you're speaking to somebody wise, you lis- You're cognizant of what they're saying. A wise person telling you... Anyway, just... Just, uh, keep that in mind, and, um, keep up the good work.

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Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Hey, look at us, son, a couple of working stiffs back from the salt mines.
David: What?
Johnny: Two men, back from the mines.
David: What mines? What's that mean?
Johnny: It's a figure of speech.
David: Um, I don't get that.
Johnny: The salt mines! Back from when people mined.
David: Uh huh.
Johnny: When miners worked in the, salt industry, they'd come home, after digging salt. I don't know what it means!

Quote from Alexis

Mutt: Okay, what would we have talked about? It's my face.
Alexis: Um, you'd have said, uh, "Wow, Alexis, I'm thinking about shaving my beard." And then I would've said, "Hmm. No, Mutt, I don't think that that's the right journey for you at this point in time."
Mutt: Well, then I would've said, "Too bad." I shave like, every six months. Okay, you try growing a beard!
Alexis: I was a beard for a very well known actor, and I get it, it's uncomfortable.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Oh, John. John, do you remember what Goldie Hawn told us at that Amfar dinner?
Johnny: I dunno.
Moira: "You are the life you accept for yourself." Those are Goldie's words. Or something someone said to her in India. Or perhaps she read it. In any case, it has always stayed with me. John, I will not accept this life. And neither should you!

Quote from David

Wendy: Now the candles, are they something that we would sell at a blouse store?
David: No, those are just decorative. Scent is a really important factor in defining a brand. Alexander Wang once fired my friend over the smell of his cologne. To Alex's credit, "Curve Pour Hommes" hasn't been the look since '97.

Quote from David

Johnny: What is that? Is that a new lamp?
David: Yeah, I'm thinking of bringing home-ware into the store, so that's a write off.
Johnny: That's a write off?
David: Yeah.
Johnny: Do you even know what a write off is?!
David: Uh, yeah. It's when you buy something for your business and the government pays you back for it.
Johnny: Oh, and who pays for it?
David: Nobody, you write it off.
Johnny: Who writes it off?!
David: I don't know, the govern- The "write off" people! Why are we having this conversation?

Quote from Ray

Moira: I'm hoping to take my complaint to council, and I've been told you'd be the easiest one to crack.
Ray: Too kind. And I'd be happy to help.
Moira: Excellent!
Ray: But unfortunately, I'm no longer on the town council. I resigned a few weeks ago, too overwhelmed with my businesses. But, uh, you're more than welcome to take it to council yourself, with my endorsement. Which won't really help, since I resigned. Um, and council wasn't too happy about it. I'm surprised you didn't hear, I talked about it extensively on my podcast.
Moira: I don't know how I missed that.

Quote from Moira

Ronnie: Hey, you really put Roland on the spot there.
Moira: I was simply exercising a basic human right.
Ronnie: Yeah, and I don't disagree with you.
Moira: I've always known you were on my side.
Ronnie: I wouldn't go that far. But I will say this, usually these council decisions, they take weeks.
Moira: Oh, I won't wait for anyone's decision. I once got Winnie Mandela to RSVP to an "Artists Against Eczema" benefit within the hour.

Quote from Moira

Ronnie: Eczema benefit?
Moira: Yes, you try enjoying a puff pastry with everyone around you scratching.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: David, if you're going out again, can you pick up some new toilet paper? I cannot use the stuff the motel provides, okay? It's like a birthday streamer. You-you-it stretches, and then, and then you pull it, and it just snaps, okay? That-that whole thing just fell off the roller!
David: Wow, um, Dad, you remember Stevie.
Johnny: Yes, yes, I remember Stevie. I know Stevie. I knew Stevie was here. That's why I came in with something funny.

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