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‘Start Spreading The News’ Quotes

Schitt's Creek: Start Spreading The News

613. Start Spreading The News

Aired March 31, 2020

Moira receives some surprising news. Meanwhile, David reconsiders his decision to move to New York.

Quote from Twyla

Twyla: Alexis, between us, I don't do this job for the money.
Alexis: Okay, well, if you don't do this for money I'm scared to know what you do do for money.
Twyla: Okay, now that you're leaving, can you keep a secret?
Alexis: Depends on how dark it's gonna get, but yes.
Twyla: I won some money in the lottery a few years ago.
Alexis: Oh my God, Twy! Go you! Why did you not tell me this before?
Twyla: Well, because you guys had just gotten here and, and you had just lost all your money. Well, what was I gonna say? I just won $92 million?
Alexis: You won $92 million?
Twyla: Oh, no. Sorry.
Alexis: Okay. Okay, because I literally was about to pass out.
Twyla: Yeah. No, no. I split the $92 million with another guy.

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Quote from Twyla

Alexis: Twy, what are you doing here? You could be anywhere, doing anything.
Twyla: I have everything I need right here. And if I've learned anything from how my mom spent the money I gave her, it's that money can buy a lot of snowmobiles, but it can't buy happiness. So it's about how you live your life. You know, doing what makes you smile. And being here, getting to hear your stories over the past few years, even the scary ones, that makes me smile.

Quote from Moira

Moira: John, considering I'll have some time to fritter once we're there, do you think you might want to put me to work?
Johnny: Well, I didn't know that would be of interest to you, Moira. But I'll see if I can get you something. Remember when you were the Rose Video spokesperson that one year?
Moira: How could I not? Oh, that photo of me sunbathing atop a giant VHS tape, was a staple of Times Square for a whole season.

Quote from Twyla

Twyla: Anyway, um, I wanted to come and tell you that what you said to me this morning really resonated.
Alexis: Twy. That means so much. Um, um, what part of what I said, specifically?
Twyla: Oh. That I shouldn't be afraid to spend money on things that are special to me.
Alexis: Mm-hmm.
Twyla: So, I bought the café.
Alexis: What?!
Twyla: I called the owners and told them to name their price.
Alexis: Okay, I was talking more like a spa day or like a cute little anklet or something.
Twyla: It's something that will make me smile. Twyla's Café Tropical. It's got a nice ring to it, right?
Alexis: Yeah. Or like "Twyla's Café".
Twyla: Yeah, I don't think so.

Quote from Moira

Jocelyn: Wow. Moira, I'm not as prepared for this as I thought I would be.
Moira: Oh, Veronica. I suppose you have something in your eye?
Ronnie: No. I just-I just don't like surprises. We should-we should get started.
Moira: May-may I just proclaim that I have rarely... never... I've never felt more buttress than I have in your company, dear gals. Not to flog a metaphor but, wolf pups are born blind and deaf, and in your care I have learned to see and hear the beauty in the bucolic. [Twyla goes into hug Moira] What's this? What? Oh no. No. Let's not turn this into a Hallmark movie of the week. I've done enough of those for a lifetime. Okay? Maybe just a quick one.

Quote from Roland

Roland: Oh, honey, I think we better get going. I gotta get the truck back to the dealership. I told the salesman I was just taking it around the block. But then I thought, maybe some cinnamon buns might just buy us a sun roof.

Quote from David

Stevie: This might seem like a really stupid question, but um... why are we here?
David: Because I felt like I owed it to Patrick to at least see the place where he wanted us to spend the rest of our lives.
Stevie: And?
David: And it's way too small for the rest of our lives, but it's cute.
Stevie: Okay, so we just drove here to look at a place that you don't plan on living in?
David: Correct.
Stevie: How many years have I known you, and I still can't figure out what goes on inside your head.
David: [emotional] Join the club.
Stevie: That was a joke, in case it didn't land.
David: Hmm. No, I was just thinking about how Patrick must have driven out here, and knocked on that door and asked those people to call him if they ever planned on selling just because I... I said it was nice. Who does that?
Stevie: Good people. Good people do things like that. Hence the reason why we don't understand it.

Quote from David

Johnny: Well, I suppose I should let you both know that there's been a slight change of plans. As you've heard, your mother is going back to work. [Alexis claps] And we'll be heading to California. Now, I've I made some calls and I'll be setting up shop out west for the time being.
Alexis: Ooh, so it's just David and me going to New York then?
David: Um... I have something to say.
Moira: The wedding's off.
David: No. The wedding is not... Why would the wedding be off? Patrick found us a house.
Alexis: Okay, I don't know how we'd be able to afford a house.
David: The house is here. I think we're going to stay.
Alexis: What?
Moira: David, are sure you've given this sentencing adequate deliberation?
David: I just don't think I'm finished with this place. My business is here. My... my husband is here. And I'm just not ready to mess that up... just yet.

Quote from Moira

Moira: [on the phone] Oh, Bev, I'm sorry I missed you, but I'm so happy I got your voicemail! Wondering when you might be getatable for a little red biddy, little back chat? Hm? Oh, and we're moving to New York. I just thought it was time. Ciao. [hangs up]
Johnny: Don't tell me you're having lunch with Bev after all this.
Moira: Imagine? No, I amputated those people years ago. But Bev and her big bazoo will get the word out quicker than any group memorandum.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: Would you look at this family? Alexis, pursuing a career in PR. David, expanding his business. Moira, I have no doubt Broadway will be calling, or maybe a pledge drive on PBS.
Moira: [chuckles] Oh, you are sweet.
Johnny: I say we do something as a family tonight. Maybe cook a little something?
Alexis: No. I don't think that's a good idea.
David: Absolutely not.
Johnny: I mean, look around, family. This won't be our home for too much longer. [silence] So let's celebrate. Picture. Let's raise those glasses. David? You don't have to look quite so morose. You're with your family. [camera clicks] Ah, now that's a framer. [laughs, phone sounds]
Alexis: You just deleted it.
Johnny: What's that?

Quote from Johnny

Moira: Is it just me, John, or does the air not have a particularly lovely redolence today.
Johnny: Oh.
Moira: Do I detect a scintilla of lavender?
Johnny: Isn't it funny how the air suddenly smells sweeter now that you know we're leaving. Still doesn't feel real.

Quote from Moira

Jocelyn: I went to the spa. Had a pedicure and a blow-out, at the same time. [laughs] I'm surprised I didn't see you there, Moira, celebrating your big Sunrise Bay news.
Moira: And what would that communiqué entail?
Jocelyn: The reboot! Don't tell me I'm the first person to congratulate you!
Moira: So it's a go. Um, no, uh, unfortunately, I won't be participating in that little vanity project. Best to keep ones gaze on the horizon, not the posterior view.

Quote from Alexis

Alexis: Twy, you might be the best person I know, but as someone who has had a lot of money and then not had it and now is like still pretty poor, but somewhat okay? Every now and again, spending like a little bit of money on something really special, it might not buy you happiness, but... it can definitely help make you smile.
Twyla: This cute dress makes me smile.
Alexis: Hm. Not quite sure how that one got in there. But anything else in there is yours if you want it.

Quote from Moira

Moira: [answers phone] Tippy. Yes, I just received it. Please, tell me this is not some barbarous jape. Yes. Yes. My answer is a yes! A clangorous, vociferous yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Johnny: What's all that about?
Moira: Sunrise Bay. Wow. When forced to choose between Clifton and myself, they decided mine was the bigger name.

Quote from Patrick

David: Why didn't you tell me about the house?
Patrick: I, um, I was gonna wait until after the wedding to tell you.
David: Hm.
Patrick: 'cause I know how flustered you can get when there's more than one thing on your plate.
David: Hmm. Unless it's food.
Patrick: Yeah, and then New York happened and... I don't know, it just seemed kinda pointless.
David: Mm-hmm. When did that house even go up for sale?
Patrick: Well, technically, it didn't, but after the fourth time that we drove by it, and you commented that it reminded you of Kate Winslet's cottage from The Holiday. I just knocked on the door and asked them to call me if they ever decided to sell. Turns out their daughters are off to college, and they're moving to Florida.

Quote from Patrick

David: So that's why you were so reluctant to move.
Patrick: It's just hard to picture living someplace you've never even visited. And I always thought you didn't like New York.
David: Um, no, uh, I love New York. It was just a weird time in my life. But I don't want you moving somewhere that you're not excited about.
Patrick: I'm excited to be with you. And there are some pros to being there. I mean, it would open the business up to a much larger market. I'd finally get to see a game at Yankee Stadium.
David: Yeah, and by then you'll have met some people that would go and do that with you.
Patrick: It's gonna be a tough goodbye. This is where we started our life together.

Quote from Twyla

Jocelyn: No, she's right, Moira, they'd be lucky to have you on their two-bit show.
Twyla: Yeah, and reboots are never as good as the original.
Moira: Well, aren't you a wolf pack by which any gal would be so lucky to be protected. But it's time for this pup to disperse to new territory. Sunrise Bay called with an irresistible offer.
Twyla: That's great, Mrs. Rose. I mean, who doesn't love a reboot.

Quote from Stevie

Stevie: Can I ask you a question?
David: Yes.
Stevie: What is it about New York?
David: I have big dreams.
Stevie: And you can't have those dreams here?
David: And some friends left there.
Stevie: The "friends" who you invited to the wedding?
David: To name a few, yes.
Stevie: David, they're not coming. Apparently there was an electronic music festival in Norway that took priority. Why do you wanna go back to a place that's done nothing but hurt your feelings?
David: Because I want those people to know that I'm not a joke. And that I've won.
Stevie: David, look at this place. You've won. And on a personal note, I don't want you to leave me here, okay?

Quote from David

Johnny: Kids, food's here.
Alexis: Mm-mmm.
David: Wait. One pizza? What is this, Les Mis?
Moira: Yes, it's a dignified family symposium, David. Not some all-one-can-consume smorgasbord.
Johnny: Don't be an animal, son.

Quote from Moira

Alexis: Okay. So what are the plans for tonight? Because I might be meeting Twy for a drink.
Johnny: Well, I thought we'd all stay in tonight, and enjoy the pizza and play charades?
Moira: Charades. I'm going to have to gracefully bow out. I don't think you can afford my quote anymore.

Quote from Moira

David: So when are you leaving?
Moira: September 3rd.
David: That's my wedding day.
Moira: And we're tied to the third?
Johnny: Oh, Moira...
David: Am I tied to the third?
Johnny: Of course you're getting married on the third, David. Moira, we can leave first thing the next morning.
Moira: Yes. We will, John. It's just worth noting that the lie-flat seats were only on the evening flight.


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