3rd Rock from the Sun Quote of the Day

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Quote from Dick in Sex and the Sally

Mary: What are you doing?
Dick: I'm just taking the little extra money you always leave for me.
Mary: Oh, my God! No wonder we're treated like crap everywhere we go. How can you be so cheap?
Dick: I- I'm not cheap.
Mary: Then put the tip back on the table.
Dick: The what?
Mary: The tip. It was $10. Put it back.
Dick: Uh, of course. The tip.
Waitress: Good night. Thank you.
Dick: Oh! Mary! That waitress just stole our tip!

Rate

Recent Quotes

Saturday, August 6, 2022

Quote from Nina in The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary

Dick: Why do these people insist on putting their biographies in the paper? Like they're so great. "Beloved" this and "devoted" that.
Nina: Dr. Solomon, those are the obituaries.
Dick: Well, I want one about me.
Nina: Hopefully soon.

Friday, August 5, 2022

Quote from Mary in A Dick Replacement

Mary: Listen, you. That psychic didn't know anything. You have many, many years ahead of you, and I will be right by your side. And after that, I don't want anybody else.
Dick: Mary, you'd rather be alone?
Mary: After you, I'm done.
Dick: Of course you are. How could I expect you to ever settle for anyone else after being with someone like me? I've ruined you.
Mary: More than you'll ever know.

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Quote from Tommy in Dick and Taxes

Dick: Okay. Now let's go over our return. You, young man. How could this family have lived for three years with no visible income?
Tommy: We collected cans.
Dick: How many cans?
Tommy: 123,450 cans.
Dick: And you didn't report that income?
Tommy: The income was $6,217, which falls well below federal limits for filing.
Dick: Your numbers don't add up!
Tommy: We turned in 33% of those cans in Michigan where it's 5 cents a can, sir!
Dick: Oh, yeah? In Michigan, eh?
Harry: Where I was in a coma! Sir!

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Quote from Harry in Just Your Average Dick

Tommy: Statistically, at least one of us should be divorced by now.
Harry: Ooh, I want that one!
Tommy: And 10% of us should be gay.
Harry: That's not why we got divorced.

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Quote from Sally in Sally and Don's First Kiss

Sally: [v.o.] The cool air embraced the trees like a desperate lover. A more perfect night I couldn't have hoped for. And then, he appeared out of nowhere, breathless in anticipation.
Don: [panting] Sally, why do we have to meet all the way up here? I'm a cop, not a goat.
Sally: [v.o.] His chiseled features mocked me with their perfection. Oh, where had I ever found the strength to resist him for this long?
Don: Have you got a handkerchief? I'm sweatin' like a pig.
Sally: I can't stand it any longer! Kiss me, Don. Kiss me like you've always wanted but never could. Now, Don, now!
Don: Oh, mama! [they kiss]

Monday, August 1, 2022

Quote from Dick in The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part Two

Dick: Lieutenant, Information Officer, Transmitter...
Sally, Harry & Tommy: High Commander.
Dick: My family.
Sally: Dick, I'm leaking.
Tommy: [sings] Across the void we come a-warping [Harry joins in] Across the fields of stars we-- Soar
All: [sing] We pledge to land and something-- [humming] Spaceship And when at last our mission's finished In duty homeward shall we fly Our glory cannot be diminished Back to the heavens in our mighty... spaceship

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, August 8, 2022

A quote from Dick in the episode InDickscretion.

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

A quote from Sally in the episode Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner?.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

A quote from Harry in the episode Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole.

Thursday, August 11, 2022

A quote from Tommy in the episode Shall We Dick?.

Friday, August 12, 2022

A quote from Mary in the episode Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 2.