TV Quotes

Lorelai: Jackson!
Jackson: What are you doing here?
Lorelai: What are you doing here?
Jackson: I'm sleeping with the zucchini. Didn't you tell her that I was sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: She had a little trouble grasping that concept.

Luke: You know, I looked up the route last night. Sounds like a great trip. They'll be visiting Constitution Hall and stopping in Gettysburg. Do you know I have never seen the Liberty Bell?
Lorelai: Communist.
Luke: Okay, I'm gonna take these guys outside. Any particular place you want them?
Lorelai: Yeah, someplace shady, sheltered from the elements and ideally near a talking pig.
Luke: I asked. I have no one to blame but myself.

Rory: It's only hitting me now. My classes are done. Done. I don't have to think about Chaucer or Euclid or Kafka or Machiavelli for months. I can just think about Jane magazine and why did Uma wear that dress. Fun stuff like that.
Dean: You'll still think about Kafka and probably Chaucer.
Rory: Probably. But those other two bozos are history. You hear me? History!

Rory: This is crazy.
Lorelai: Well, it depends on your definition of "crazy." I, for one, found the Mariah Carey phone messages to her fans just refreshingly imaginative.

Luke: It's only me.
Lorelai: You scared me half to death!
Luke: Who'd you think it was?
Lorelai: Well, I don't know! I heard thudding upstairs and Rory weighs, like, 10 ounces. And it either had be an escaped elephant or some strange, large man who should not be in the house.

Kirk: [into headset] Look, Mrs. Kingston, Kirk will not rest until you are satisfied. Your demands are Kirk's demands. Your needs are Kirk's needs. Kirk is here for you.
Lorelai: Uh, Kirk?
Kirk: [into headset] Kirk appreciates that, Mrs. Kingston. We'll talk soon.
Lorelai: What are you doing here?
Kirk: Trying to bag a whale. Kirk's in the real estate game now.
Lorelai: Stop doing that.
Kirk: What?
Lorelai: Referring to yourself as Kirk.
Kirk: But that's Kirk's thing. Every realtor needs a thing. This is Kirk's thing.

Lorelai: Well, pens are very nice, but I just bet there is a fabulous, fancy dessert just sitting out there in that kitchen.
Emily: As a matter of fact, there is. Twinkies.
Lorelai: What?
Emily: Rory told me that was her favorite dessert.
Lorelai: Emily Gilmore, you are one classy broad.
Emily: Antonia, please bring out the Twinkies.
Lorelai: I can't believe I just heard you say those words.
Emily: Well, don't get used to it.