Erin: Are you sure you didn't just...
Michelle: Jesus, me too! She just smirked at me, too!
James: Why isn't she smirking at me?
Erin: She isn't smirking at anyone, James.
Orla: I just saw it, too! The holy smirk, thanks be to God!
Erin: You're imagining it.
Michelle: Three of us saw it, Erin, how do you explain that?
Erin: Sleep deprivation, Pernod, delusional personality disorder.

Gerry: Jesus, the pets are getting it left, right and centre at the minute. Maureen Malarkey's Tigger just passed away.
Joe: We do not utter that woman's name in this house.
Mary: Da, not the bingo thing, still!
Joe: She's a cheating old bitch!
Erin: How can you cheat at bingo, Granda?
Joe: Her nephew brought her this pen back from New Jersey. It changes the numbers. I'm telling ya, it's witchcraft, Mary!
Mary: I'll hear no more about the magic pen!

Michelle: Where the fuck are we going to get the money for Paris now?
Orla: We could sell our organs.
Clare: We could. We could sell our organs. Or, and forgive me if this is a bit left-field, but could we not, you know, get jobs?
Michelle: There are no jobs in Derry. That's all you ever hear anybody say.
Clare: So what are these?
Michelle: I never really looked at this before. I just assumed they were all dead cat posters.
Clare: Missing cat posters.
Michelle: If you're an optimist.

Chief Inspector Byers: We've had several reports of suspicious activity on the grounds of Our Lady Immaculate College this evening. Following up on that lead, we discover you five on the premises, that the locks on the side door have been forced, and the alarm system deactivated. Now, we can't get hold of the headmistress, one... Sister George Michael.
James: George Michael?

Erin: James. Listen, I have something to tell you, and... Ooh, Dib-Dab. OK. I'm just gonna say it. I think Katya is planning on having sex with you, tonight.
James: I know.
Erin: You know?
James: I'm meeting her upstairs in a bit. She told me to have some food first. Apparently, sex uses up a lot of energy.
Erin: You do not want to do this, James!
James: Yes, I do.
Erin: You're not ready for it!
James: I am.
Erin: She doesn't love you, James. She's just using you.
James: Yeah, but, the thing is, I don't care.

Clare: It's the best spot. I got the best spot.
Erin: What happened to your face?
Clare: See that bitch over there?
Erin: That wee girl?
Clare: She tried to muscle in, things got ugly. She'll think twice next time.
Erin: You didn't fight that wain, did you, Clare?
Clare: I did fight that wain, Erin, and I'll fight that wain again if I have to.
Michelle: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Clare: People have been circling this spot like vultures. I've managed to hold them off so far. But it's only gonna get tougher. We must show no weakness. We must be as one.
Michelle: Are you on glue?
Clare: Come on, link up!

Gerry: Jesus, the pets are getting it left, right and centre at the minute. Maureen Malarkey's Tigger just passed away.
Joe: We do not utter that woman's name in this house.
Mary: Da, not the bingo thing, still!
Joe: She's a cheating old bitch!
Erin: How can you cheat at bingo, Granda?
Joe: Her nephew brought her this pen back from New Jersey. It changes the numbers. I'm telling ya, it's witchcraft, Mary!
Mary: I'll hear no more about the magic pen!