Future Ted: [v.o.] What's a Woo Girl? Let me explain. A Woo Girl is a type of young woman, who, like the cuckoo bird or the whip-poor-will, gets her name from the signature sound she makes. Now, a woo can be elicited in many different ways. From a certain song coming on the jukebox, to half-priced shots, from a ride on a mechanical bull, to, well, pretty much anything.

Lily: Okay, let's get this over with.
Barney: Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift.
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: I meant me. Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. Goofy and unburdened, with wit. But me, I want something more regal. Something my progeny could look at and say, "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." He was wise... [picks up sword] and strong.
Lily: I don't think your sword will fit.
Barney: I get that a lot.

Ted: I got it. I got it. We e-mail them pictures reminding them of each of these fights.
Lily: You child. Here's how it goes down. They're at the diner. First, rekindling the Canadian-American debate... Ontario native Alan Thicke stops by the table.
Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ted: Alan Thicke?
Marshall: Oh! Right, Robin knew him back when she was a singer.
Lily: Yeah, and they still keep in touch. I already got his number off her phone. Seriously, amateurs. [.vo.] So Alan Thicke restarts the Canada-US fight. Right at that moment, Crazy Meg shows up. Then, a Stormtrooper happens to walk by the window. And just when they can't take anything more, a busboy walks by with a tray full of what? Dirty dishes.

Ted: There's so many decisions to be made. What if I make all the wrong ones and my building just sucks?
Barney: Not possible. Your building is new. And I have one rule. New is always better.
Ted: You can't keep saying you have one rule if they're always different.
Barney: Ah, but "new is always better" is my oldest rule, which makes it the best.

Ted: And where's the worst abuser of my generosity, Barney? Or should I say, "Borrow-ney"?
Marshall: You should never say that. And I think he's out with Patrice.
Robin: Ugh, Patrice? That's still happening?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you remember Patrice. She worked with your Aunt Robin.
[flashback:]
Patrice: Robin! You left your purse at the vending machine, and some guy tried to steal it! I fought him off, but I think I dislocated my shoulder.
Robin: You scratched the leather! Oh! Can't you do anything right, Patrice?!

Marshall: So just to be clear, after we finish having sex, that's when we'll have our fight?
Lily: That's right.
Marshall: Excuse me. [runs into the bathroom, puts cold water on his face] Okay, Marshall, it's go time. You've had great nights of sex before, most of them with Lily. A few by yourself. And we'll always have that unscrambled Spice Channel glitch of '93. But this has gotta be the performance of a lifetime. Jimi Hendrix at Monterey. James Brown at the Apollo. Your law school funk band pretty much anywhere. So get out there and bang your wife for as long as you possibly can. Not a good sign that I'm already out of breath.

Carl: If he pukes, one of you guys cleans it up.
Lily: No dibs.
Marshall: Oh.
Barney: No... Dammit!
Ted: How quickly you all forget. I haven't puked since high school. I am vomit-free since ninety-three. Vomit free since ninety-three. That's funny. I'm funny.