How I Met Your Mother Quote of the Day

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Quote from Future Ted in Robin 101

Robin: So you need a hand throwing it out?
Marshall: No, I'm not... I'm not just going to throw her out, okay? Mabel's like family.
Robin: So, um, what are you gonna do with Mabel?
Marshall: I want to give her away, um, to a lucky new owner. Do you know anyone?
Robin: Yeah, hmm, let me think. Do I know any rodeo clowns? Oh, that's weird, I do. But even Lenny wouldn't go near that mess.
Marshall: Well, he's not going to have the chance, because I am putting old Mabel in the Bermuda Triangle.
Future Ted: [v.o.] The Bermuda Triangle was the name we'd given years earlier to the curb right in front of our building. Whenever we wanted to give something away, we'd put it right there. It was uncanny.


Recent Quotes

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Quote from Future Ted in First Time in New York

Future Ted: [v.o.] But, kids, later that night, Katie did it, and she got pregnant... with quintuplets... and she lived out her days in a trailer park... where she died an alcoholic. So the moral here, kids, don't have sex until you're married. Maybe even, like, a year or two into marriage.
Son & Daughter: Dad!
Daughter: Come on, what really happened?

Friday, July 1, 2022

Quote from Lily in Desperation Day

Lily: I decided to go to Minnesota to see Marshall. He shouldn't have to help his mom through this rough time all by himself.
Barney: You losing your mind, being alone in your apartment?
Lily: I'm getting weird! [v.o.] See, it started off with me throwing Marshall's jersey on my body pillow. And, well, things kind of spiraled from there.
[flashback to Lily sitting down for dinner with a pillow wearing Marshall's suit:]
Lily: I'm sorry I yelled like that before.
Lily: I call him "Marshpillow." And he calls me... nothing because he's a pillow.

Thursday, June 30, 2022

Quote from Barney in The Possimpible

Barney: Mine is: "From all of us here at Barney's apartment, get out."

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Quote from Robin in Little Boys

Robin: Why is this kid around anyway? Shouldn't he be with his mom? What kind of lawyer does this guy have if he has to take care of the kid all the time?
Lily: A good one. He won full custody.
Robin: He won? He won. Oh God, getting the kid is winning, isn't it? [Lily nods] Don't tell anyone I said that.

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Quote from Marshall in Robots Vs. Wrestlers

Peter Bogdanovich: Which is exactly what Truffaut was talking about in his 1954 article in Cahiers du cinema. Film is an auteur's medium, full stop.
Marshall: [laughs] Movies. Right? Actors. Willem Dafoe. Funny thing about Willem Dafoe. Uh, his name kind of sounds like a frog talking to a parrot. [in deep voice] Willem. [in high-pitched voice] Dafoe! [deep] Willem. [high] Dafoe! No?

Monday, June 27, 2022

Quote from Ted in Happily Ever After

Marshall: She leaves you at the altar and you're the one avoiding her?
Ted: Yes, I'm avoiding her. What's the big deal? That's how we do it.
Marshall: Who's "we"? Gutless weenies?
Ted: No, "we" is people from the great state of Ohio. When life gives us pain, we Buckeyes take that pain and we push it down. And if the pain starts to come up again, we push more pain down on top of it. Why confront something when you can avoid it, right? All I have to do is never see Stella again, and I'll live a long, happy life. Now, who wants to get something to eat?

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, July 4, 2022

A quote from Ted in the episode Columns.

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

A quote from Marshall in the episode Robots Vs. Wrestlers.

Wednesday, July 6, 2022

A quote from Robin in the episode Karma.

Thursday, July 7, 2022

A quote from Barney in the episode The Bracket.

Friday, July 8, 2022

A quote from Lily in the episode Aldrin Justice.