Robin: And it's not like the opposite would work. There's no way a guy could pick up a girl, going around talking like a little boy.
Barney: Challenge accepted.
Robin: No.
Barney: I, Barney Stinson, will pick up a girl whilst talking like a little boy.

[flashback:]
Robin: What I don't do is tell you the same story over and over again. I mean, you wouldn't watch the same movie over and over again, would you? Maybe a great movie like Die Hard. But Field of Dreams? Once is more than enough.
[At MacLaren's, Barney and Marshall have a shocked expression on their faces:]
Ted: So that's your go-to bad movie? The number one example on the tip of your tongue of a bad movie is Field of Dreams?
Robin: It's about ghost baseball players. I think it's stupid.
[At MacLaren's, Marshall and Barney are once again shocked]

Robin: Hey, guys.
Ted: It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?
Robin: Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat. This kind of weather is nothing for me.
Marshall: Yeah, this is like a spring day back in Minnesota, if it weren't for all the taxis and the skyscrapers and non-white people.
Ted: There aren't any black people in Minnesota?
Marshall: Not if Prince is on tour.

Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!

Robin: See, Marshall, this is what I mean. You can't treat New York City like it's the small, friendly, crime-free, inbred, backwoods, Podunk, cow-tipping Minnesota hickville where you grew up.
Marshall: Crime-free? Crime-free? In 1994, the cashier from the feed store was held up at hoe-point.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, your Aunt Robin never became a pole-vaulter, but she did become a famous journalist, a successful businesswoman, a world traveler. She was even briefly a bullfighter. That's a funny story, I'll get to that one later. But there's one thing your Aunt Robin never was. She was never alone.

Marshall: Lily?
[flashback to Lily in their apartment, rushing to the phone with her hands full with grocery bags:]
Lily: [answers] Hello.
Mickey: [o.s.] Lily, it's Dad. Listen, I'm sort of in jail for not paying taxes for the last 25 years But bright side... I thought of a great new board game. "Tax Evasion"... ages six to ten. Which is, ironically, what I might be looking at. Anyway, Pumpkin, I need $15,000.
Lily: Fooled ya. Leave a message after the beep. We'll get back to ya. Beep.
[present:]
[Lily drinks from the flask]
Marshall: Lawyered.