TV Quotes

Philip: You see that, Vivian? Outright defiance. That boy just does whatever he wants to, and I am sick of it!
Vivian: This just doesn't seem like Will.
Philip: Vivian, can we just drop the subject and go have dinner?
Vivian: Look, Philip, I know that I don't have all the facts but if Will says he has a job, I believe him.
Philip: Vivian, you are so naive. You'd believe that boy if he were to tell you he was a big rap star whose album just went platinum.

Hilary: Well, I'm going to go mingle. The "A" list turned out tonight.
Geoffrey: Really?
Hilary: Look. That's Tom Cruise's pool cleaner. And that's Cher's electrolysist. And that's Heather Locklear.

Carlton: Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?
Will: This is what we're gonna do, we're gonna stop listening.
Carlton: You're right. Enough listening, time for action. She needs de-programming. We'll make her watch movies. Lots of movies. Doris Day movies. Now, there's a good wholesome role model. [sings] Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be... [talks] Wait a minute. "Whatever will be, will be"? What kind of devil-may-care message is that? The slut.
Will: Okay, Carlton. Carlton. Look, you need to calm down, all right?
Carlton: Look, we need to find a Yellow Pages. I'm calling a nunnery. It's late, so I'll need a 24-hour one.
Will: Carlton, man, we ain't even Catholic.

Carlton: [sings] Tell old pharaoh Let my people go
Will: [sings] Tell old pharaoh Let my cousin grow

Ashley: I can't believe it. My big sister's moving out.
Hilary: Oh, Ashley, mi casa es your casa. You can come over any time you want. Except for Tuesdays, when I shoot three shows and I really need my space. Oh, and Thursdays. I shop till about 9 and then I take a warm bath and read. Why don't you come over on Mondays between 11:15 and 2:30?
Ashley: Hilary, I'm in school.
Hilary: Well, if you can't find the time...

Ashley: Geoffrey, you look great today. Have you done something different with your hair?
Geoffrey: Yes. I stopped pulling it out. What are you selling?
Ashley: Okay, I'm hawking candy bars. They're only $5.
Geoffrey: Marvelous. With what I'm paid I should be able to afford one by the end of the day.
Carlton: [to Will] You poor, pathetic gigolo. How could any self-respecting man sell himself so cheap?
Geoffrey: Like I don't hear enough of that from my mother.
Carlton: I was talking to Will.
Geoffrey: Of course. Why would anyone talk to me? I am but a poor, lowly servant.

Vivian: Okay, here are the files you asked for, sweetheart.
Philip: Thank you. Um, I need a copy of the Richburg merger and find out if we got a continuance on the Seger case.
Vivian: Philip, I am tired of this. You're just lying on your back giving orders, and I'm doing all the work. Why does this seem so familiar?