New Girl Quote of the Day

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Quote from Winston in Injured

Schmidt: It's because he refuses to wear a Bluetooth. You know that. I gave him one for his birthday, too, but he just laughed in my face. Gave it back to me for Hanukkah.
Winston: Well, according to this Web site, it could be a colloid nodule. But that's most common in golden retrievers.

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Recent Quotes

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Quote from Winston in Where the Road Goes

Winston: [ahem] It's hard to believe it's been a whole year since Furguson's departure. As you all know from my many e-mails and a sponsored tweet, I looked at Furguson as Jewish. So, in the Jewish tradition, we unveil his gravestone on the first anniversary of his passing. Furgie accomplished a lot in his time on Earth... eating, sleeping, walking around, doing that thing with his paw. You know, where he licked it a whole bunch? [chuckles] Yeah, he lived a full life. Schmidt, will you begin the service?
Schmidt: Yit'gadal v'yit'kadash sh'mei raba. Amen.
All: Amen.

Friday, July 1, 2022

Quote from Cece in A Chill Day In

Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don't work.

Thursday, June 30, 2022

Quote from Coach in Prince

Schmidt: You think Prince has a pool?
Winston: You think he has a drawbridge?
Nick: We're never gonna get in. We're not even in a limo.
Coach: Uh, excuse me, we're in a Ford Fusion, the best car ever made. It gets double the gas mileage of...
Schmidt: Again?
Nick: Shut up. That's all you've been talking about the whole drive, and it's weird. You get sexual when you talk about it. It's in your eyes. I don't like it.
Coach: Double the gas mileage means you go double as far. Double as long.

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Quote from Schmidt in Table 34

Schmidt: Okay, neither of you are coming. I've been studying up for a full week. I can actually speak conversational Hindi. If that conversation is, "Hello." "Hello." "Samosa?" "Yes, please, Samosa." "More towels?" "Do you know where the white person's toilet is?" After that, it gets very confusing.
Nick: Can you drive in that dress?
Schmidt: You're right, I can't. All right, you're driving. Let's go.

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Quote from Nick in The Box

Winston: Nick, it's my money, okay?! Give it back to me!
Nick: I make a little bit of money and you come slipping out of the "woodword"!
Winston: You mean "woodwork"?
Nick: What is "woodwork"?!
Winston: What's "woodword"?!
Nick: Wood! Word! Wood! Word! That's where people like you come crawling out of when people like me have money!

Monday, June 27, 2022

Quote from Jess in The Last Wedding

Jess: I haven't told the guys that you broke up with Buster yet, 'cause, um... I feel like I might have to tell Schmidt outside a hospital, like, you know, when you give a baby peanut butter for the first time?
Cece: Yeah.

Upcoming Quotes

Monday, July 4, 2022

A quote from Jess in the episode Exes.

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

A quote from Nick in the episode Background Check.

Wednesday, July 6, 2022

A quote from Schmidt in the episode Parents.

Thursday, July 7, 2022

A quote from Coach in the episode Spiderhunt.

Friday, July 8, 2022

A quote from Cece in the episode Clavado En Un Bar.