New Girl Quote of the Day
Sunday, July 3, 2022
Schmidt: It's because he refuses to wear a Bluetooth. You know that. I gave him one for his birthday, too, but he just laughed in my face. Gave it back to me for Hanukkah.
Winston: Well, according to this Web site, it could be a colloid nodule. But that's most common in golden retrievers.
Saturday, July 2, 2022
Winston: [ahem] It's hard to believe it's been a whole year since Furguson's departure. As you all know from my many e-mails and a sponsored tweet, I looked at Furguson as Jewish. So, in the Jewish tradition, we unveil his gravestone on the first anniversary of his passing. Furgie accomplished a lot in his time on Earth... eating, sleeping, walking around, doing that thing with his paw. You know, where he licked it a whole bunch? [chuckles] Yeah, he lived a full life. Schmidt, will you begin the service?
Schmidt: Yit'gadal v'yit'kadash sh'mei raba. Amen.
Friday, July 1, 2022
Cece: The very fact that socks exist is proof that shoes don't work.
Thursday, June 30, 2022
Schmidt: You think Prince has a pool?
Winston: You think he has a drawbridge?
Nick: We're never gonna get in. We're not even in a limo.
Coach: Uh, excuse me, we're in a Ford Fusion, the best car ever made. It gets double the gas mileage of...
Nick: Shut up. That's all you've been talking about the whole drive, and it's weird. You get sexual when you talk about it. It's in your eyes. I don't like it.
Coach: Double the gas mileage means you go double as far. Double as long.
Wednesday, June 29, 2022
Schmidt: Okay, neither of you are coming. I've been studying up for a full week. I can actually speak conversational Hindi. If that conversation is, "Hello." "Hello." "Samosa?" "Yes, please, Samosa." "More towels?" "Do you know where the white person's toilet is?" After that, it gets very confusing.
Nick: Can you drive in that dress?
Schmidt: You're right, I can't. All right, you're driving. Let's go.
Tuesday, June 28, 2022
Winston: Nick, it's my money, okay?! Give it back to me!
Nick: I make a little bit of money and you come slipping out of the "woodword"!
Winston: You mean "woodwork"?
Nick: What is "woodwork"?!
Winston: What's "woodword"?!
Nick: Wood! Word! Wood! Word! That's where people like you come crawling out of when people like me have money!
Monday, June 27, 2022
Monday, July 4, 2022
Tuesday, July 5, 2022
Wednesday, July 6, 2022
Thursday, July 7, 2022
Friday, July 8, 2022