New Girl Quote of the Day

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Quote from Coach in Walk of Shame

Coach: How could you guys do this to me?
Nick: We didn't do anything. You embarrassed yourself. Actually, you embarrassed us. And you do it all the time, Coach. Like how you sit on the hood of your car when you pump gas into it. I mean, what, are you in Dukes of Hazzard, you idiot?
Coach: I saw Isaiah Thomas do it on a poster once, and it was cool.


Recent Quotes

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Quote from Schmidt in Parents

Schmidt: Yeah, but know this, all right. Your caveman ideas about manhood are so over. Manhood today is about exfoliation.
Big Schmidt: Ha!
Schmidt: And cheese courses, and emotional honesty, and Paxil. And yes, cutting peppers in the classic style de julienne. You may have bested me in a competition of pre-Clinton manhood, but I am Schmidt. A refined and enlightened pescetarian. About 90% of the time.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Quote from Nick in Return to Sender

Schmidt: Look, I know you don't trust my dad, but I'm happy that he's here. We're working through stuff.
Nick: Wait, Schmidt, I want you to have a relationship with your father. I really do, but I've been down this road so many times. He just shows up out of the boo, and then all of a sudden expects...
Schmidt: It's "blue". It's "blue."
Nick: Well, thanks, Eye-stein.

Monday, February 19, 2024

Quote from Jess in Thanksgiving

Nick: It doesn't matter what I think, does it? 'Cause I don't have to have sex with him.
Jess: I do. I want to. I want to have sex with him big-time.
Nick: Great.
Jess: You heard me! Big-time! Okay? I want to take him down to Chinatown and slice him off a piece of this pumpkin pie, okay?
Paul: [to Winston] What is pumpkin pie?
Jess: I want to do all the things that you do in a bedroom, with him, okay? I want to do it standing up and sitting down, and half-up and half-down, and the wiggly one, and the Bear Attack, and the claws in the head, and the one the figure skaters do, and the What's For Lunch, and the... Give Me That Hat. Let's just say that I'm good. I'm really, really good. And I don't care what you think!

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Quote from Jess in Bully

Schmidt: The song is called "Let Me Lift You Up With My Robot Arm"?
Jess: Yeah.
Schmidt: It's catchy.
Winston: I mean, the title is flawed, there's no question about that. But you are kicking ass with the comments. Look at this. "This teacher is muy caliente."
Jess: Hot, hot, hot.
Winston: "I'd like to grade her on a curve." Yep. "Finally, entertainment that doesn't resort to salty language."
Jess: Finally.
Winston: Jess, these commenters are all you, aren't they?
Jess: Yes. Yes, they are.

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Quote from Winston in Parking Spot

Winston: Is everyone in the world having sex but me?! Old people, foreigners, nerds. Everyone's banging. Schmidt and Jess?! Everyone is out there getting and giving except for old Winnie. Look at me... a man who has absolutely nothing. I left my phone, my wallet, and my dignity at Daisy's house. I even left my pants there ... look at this.
Jess: Yum.
Nick: Yum.
Winston: I need a win, damn it, I need a win.

Friday, February 16, 2024

Quote from Cece in Walk of Shame

Cece: All right. Confession. I did not sleep with Ken, either. Yeah, we started hooking up and then I called him... Schmidt.
Jess: That's okay. It happens.
Cece: Twice.
Jess: Whatever.
Cece: Four times.
Jess: Okay, that's bad.
Cece: I know, I felt so bad afterwards, I straightened up his room. I am a grown woman that is in love with her ex-boyfriend that has a girlfriend. And I've been stealing my neighbor's Wi-Fi. I mean, what have I become?

Upcoming Quotes

Friday, February 23, 2024

A quote from Cece in the episode Sister II.

Saturday, February 24, 2024

A quote from Winston in the episode Big Mama P.

Sunday, February 25, 2024

A quote from Winston in the episode The Hike.

Monday, February 26, 2024

A quote from Jess in the episode Dance.

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

A quote from Nick in the episode The Box.