The Good Place Quotes

The Good Place

The Good Place

After her untimely death, Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell), a self-absorbed woman without much virtue to her name, arrives in a heavenly utopia run by architect Michael (Ted Danson).

Starring: Kristen Bell, William Jackson Harper, Jameela Jamil, D'Arcy Carden, Manny Jacinto, Ted Danson.
Recurring Actors: Marc Evan Jackson, Tiya Sircar, Maya Rudolph, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Jason Mantzoukas, Maribeth Monroe, Adam Scott, Brandon Scott Jones, Benjamin Koldyke.
Original Run: 2016-2020.

Popular Quotes

Quote from Tahani in A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)

Tahani: Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry.
Jason: Janet was my whole afterlife. How am I gonna get over her?
Tahani: I used to have a breakup routine when a relationship ended. Champagne and Alanis Morissette. Not the actual singer. I just listened to her albums at my friend Adele's house.


Quote from Michael in Chillaxing

Michael: I still don't have a grip on the human emotional spectrum. You guys are often happy when you should be sad and angry when you should be happy, and texting when you should be driving, which is not an emotion, I know, but it's insane. The point is, in this case, even if it's not rational, you're allowed to feel a little angry. Let yourself off the hook. Process it and work your way through it, and then get your shirt together. Because we have a lot of work to do.

Quote from Eleanor in Pandemonium

Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Eleanor in Derek

Michael: I designed this entire torture chamber around the absolutely certainty that when the going got tough, you would give up. That was the signature Shellstrop move. Do you remember once when your change oil light came on? You just abandoned your car in a parking garage.
Eleanor: Of course.
Michael: But here, faced with the toughest challenges I could throw at you, you never once stopped trying to become a better person. And I just... Why?
Eleanor: I don't know. I mean, whenever I would do something crappy on Earth, there would be a little tiny voice in the back of my head that would say, "Eleanor, don't grab that handful of olives from the salad bar. You know, you didn't pay for that," or "Eleanor, don't spit those olive pits onto the floor of the grocery store. That's not cool." Or "Eleanor, that old man just slipped on your olive pit, and he fell down. Don't use the fact that everyone's distracted to go back and steal more olives."
Michael: I get it.
Eleanor: This ethics stuff, it's hard, and it's confusing. It is such a buzzkill. But, it does get rid of the little voice. Because at least I'm trying to do the right thing instead of the crappy thing, and I've got to say, man, I don't miss the little voice.

Quote from Michael in The Eternal Shriek

Tahani: By the way, uh, what's you're favorite color for the tablecloths?
Michael: Well, it's not perceptible by human eyes. It's called "pleurigloss."
Tahani: Could you describe it?
Michael: It's the color of... When a soldier comes home from war and sees his dog for the first time.
Tahani: Hmm. How about blue?

Quote from Eleanor in Most Improved Player

Michael: This file contains a compendium of all of the highest impact events from your life, that's the, uh, biggest positive and negative point swings. So "Little Julie," who's that?
Eleanor: Julie is my cousin's daughter. Her mom is kind of a mess, so I used to take her to the mall sometimes and bought her churro dogs. It's a hot dog, but the bun is two churros. And it's tied together with a Slim Jim. It's an Arizona delicacy.
Michael: Oh, sounds awful, but it's very nice that you made that girl happy. So what's this: "Kool Threadz, "Glendale, Arizona's Premiere T-Shirt Emporium"?
Eleanor: Uh, can we skip around and... and circle back? How about I tell you more about those churro dogs. They came with unlimited ranch dressing.
Michael: Let's hear about the t-shirts, please.
Eleanor: Eeeh, okay. I'll tell you, but it doesn't make me look great, so don't judge me.
Michael: That's literally the purpose of this entire exercise.