Michael Quote #291
Michael: I still don't have a grip on the human emotional spectrum. You guys are often happy when you should be sad and angry when you should be happy, and texting when you should be driving, which is not an emotion, I know, but it's insane. The point is, in this case, even if it's not rational, you're allowed to feel a little angry. Let yourself off the hook. Process it and work your way through it, and then get your shirt together. Because we have a lot of work to do.
Quote from Michael
Michael: Never seen Chidi like that. He was... chillaxing, which is a word I just invented, combing Chidi and relaxing.
Quote from John
John: Oh, goodie. Cucumber water.
Janet: Nope. This is fresh water from Oprah's estate in Maui with mushrooms from her private bog in the Pyrenees Mountains.
John: Oh, my God. It tastes like candy.
Tahani: You know what they say. A mushroom from Oprah's bog is better than anything from anywhere else.
John: Ugh, I didn't know that they said that. I missed out on all the cool celebrity sayings.
Tahani: Say good-bye to FOMO. You can finally experience the best of the best.
John: The only thing that would make this any better is some hot goss. [chuckles]
Tahani: Very well. Our story begins when I ran into Robbie Williams, Heidi Klum, and the remaining members of Fifth Harmony at the Dolce & Gabbana spring show.
John: Hate him, loathe her, over them, cancel it, tell me everything.
Quote from Leap to Faith
Michael: How did they get Janet's bracelets off? It's literally impossible for a human to do. It's like breathing underwater or driving without texting.
Quote from The Funeral to End All Funerals
Michael: Let's focus on the big picture here. Free of Earth's complications and its unintended consequences, the other three improved a lot. Chidi got 38% more confident. Simone got 43% more flexible in her judgments of people, and John didn't call one single person the C-word.
Judge: But he did yell the C-word at himself as well as a pack of squirrels and a chair he tripped over.
Shawn: Why are we even still discussing this? Brent got worse. If humans can't be good with their needs magically met, maybe they're just not that good.
Judge: He's right; the evidence needed to be overwhelming. I can't just turn the whole afterlife upside down because three people got a little bit better.
Michael: But don't forget. There's a lot of evidence that Eleanor, Jason and Tahani got better in the original experiment, so that's six people. That's the number of friends in Friends. Are you gonna sit there and say that every single Friend belongs in hell? I mean, maybe Ross and Rachel... and Monica and Joey, and definitely Chandler... but Phoebe?