Tahani Quote #163

Quote from Tahani in A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)

Tahani: Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry.
Jason: Janet was my whole afterlife. How am I gonna get over her?
Tahani: I used to have a breakup routine when a relationship ended. Champagne and Alanis Morissette. Not the actual singer. I just listened to her albums at my friend Adele's house.

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 ‘A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)’ Quotes

Quote from Jason

Michael: Do you know why I forced you to act like a monk in the original neighborhood?
Jason: Does it have to do with the TV show Monk?
Michael: No.

Quote from Eleanor

Michael: You get it all out of your system? You gonna come back, get to work?
Eleanor: No, man, I meant what I said. I quit.
Michael: I'm sorry you overheard that, and they're sorry they said it. But you don't just get to quit this, Eleanor. This is not your seventh-grade band, or three hours into a two-week juice cleanse. A little more at stake here.
Eleanor: Yeah, man, that's why I'm quitting. The things that are happening here are above my pay grade. How do I get Brent to stop being such a deckhead? How do I fix Simone when she's convinced all of this is happening inside of her brain? Ooh, maybe I should drive her into the arms of my ex-boyfriend? That sounds fun. What do I do about John, the gossip king, or the demon spy who punched me in the face? And how do I do it all with a pleasant smile to keep everyone's spirits up? I'm not meant for this. I'm not the freakin' savior of the universe. I'm just... a girl from Arizona. That's it. I'm just a normal girl from Arizona. I ate junk food, I watched reality shows, I sometimes left H&M wearing more underpants than I had on when I came in. I did a bad job of being in charge of my own life, and now I'm supposed to be in charge of everyone else's life? I... I cannot do this.

Quote from Eleanor

Eleanor: All right. Time to go help Simone and Chidi. Oof! Why did I come up with this idea? This is gonna hurt real bad.
Michael: I know. I know. But I think it's gonna work.
Eleanor: Yeah, but it's gonna suck for me. You sure there's no other girl from Arizona who can do this? What about Emma Stone? She's from there. She's very capable. Remember her in Zombieland? And La La Land? What's with all her movies ending with "land"?
Michael: You're stalling.
Eleanor: Yup. Heading out.

 Tahani Al-Jamil Quotes

Quote from A Girl from Arizona (Part 1)

Tahani: Who can convince her that this actually is the afterlife? We need someone authoritative and reassuring, like Nelson Mandela or Sir Patrick Stewart. Or really any of my old racquetball partners would do.

Quote from Mondays, Am I Right?

Michael: Okay, Janet's passing out the file on Tahani Al-Jamil, who volunteered to be today's test subject. So, take a look, and then we'll get going.
Tahani: They don't seem very enthused. This may be a tougher challenge than I thought, like when I tried to teach Taylor Swift how to dance. The longest four years of my life.

Quote from Most Improved Player

Tahani: I really do have sympathy for your situation. I mean, you thought your soul mate was a good person, and then you learned that she's just an immoral grifter.
Chidi: Tahani, please.
Tahani: Am I wrong? She lied to everyone. She caused a giant sinkhole into which poor Glenn fell. She caused a trash storm. She... Well, she pretended to be my friend when I really needed one. And, lest we forget, she murdered Janet. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner she's gone, the better off we'll all be.
Chidi: I... I understand that Eleanor violated our trust, but please, when you're talking to Michael, try to think about what she's had to go through.
Tahani: All right. I will, for you. But we've been through a lot as well. You know, I haven't been this upset since my good friend Taylor was rudely upstaged by my other friend, Kanye, who was defending my best friend, Beyonce.