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‘Patty’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Good Place: Patty

412. Patty

Aired January 23, 2020

The group's first day in the Good Place doesn't come without some surprises. Chidi meets one of his philosophical heroes, Hypatia (Lisa Kudrow).

Quote from Tahani

Eleanor: Holy fork, that is a soothing chime.
Tahani: It really is the most incredible chime I've ever heard, and that is coming from someone whose godfather is the most famous clock in the world.
Chidi: Is Big Ben somehow your godfather?
Tahani: Mm-hmm.

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Quote from Chidi

Chidi: So about this party, is everyone in the Good Place invited? Like, is Aristotle gonna be there?
Janet: Sorry, Chidi, Aristotle's in the Bad Place. He defended slavery.
Chidi: Socrates?
Janet: No, too annoying. Very loud chewer.
Chidi: Plato.
Janet: Slavery again. Oh, you know who is here? Hypatia of Alexandria. Do you know her?
Chidi: Hypatia? [Janet nods] Of Alexandria.
Janet: That's right.
Chidi: Uh, yeah, I know her. [muffled screams] Ooh, Hypatia! I'm gonna ask her so many questions pertaining to the grand ideas about the universe, like: "Why?" Oh, oh, and also... "How?"
Janet: Ooh.

Quote from Tahani

Tahani: We're finally headed to the Good Place. It's the "me" of places! I-I got in, I can say stuff like that again.

Quote from Jason

Eleanor: What's everyone wanna do first?
Jason: Racing go-karts with monkeys.
Chidi: Sure.
Jason: It's my lifelong dream. Monkeys are the ideal go-kart opponents. They're funny enough to give the finger, but not smart enough to win.

Quote from Tahani

Tahani: We just redesigned this system, and soon millions of people are going to start pouring in thinking they're in paradise, only to become a joyless husk. It's Coachella. We've invented Cosmic Coachella. Oh, we have to fix this.

Quote from Eleanor

Janet: You all need to wait out here for a bit so you can adjust. When you're ready, you will be honored with a welcome gala magically planned by the Good Place based on your personalities.
Eleanor: Like the "targeted Instagram ad" of parties! You know, I bought the coolest sunglasses from one of those ads. [sunglasses appear on Eleanor's head]
Tahani: Look.
Jason: Whoa.
Eleanor: It's like I'm inside the Internet.

Quote from Chidi

Chidi: Also is it "Hy-pay-sha", or "Hy-pat-ia"? Or in the Ancient Greek, "Who-put-tia?" There's a lot of fun debate about this.
Hypatia: You know what, just call me Patty.
Chidi: Okay, well, uh... Patty! I'm a huge fan. I had a poster of you on my wall in high school. Actually, it was just a poster of Trinity from The Matrix, but that's how I imagined you would look because you're so cool!
Eleanor: Oh, is she the reason you got beat up so much?
Chidi: She's one of 'em.

Quote from Tahani

Tahani: I feel just like Dorothy when she lands in Oz. Excited, incredulous, much taller than everyone else around me.

Quote from Jason

Janet: Does that mean me?
Michael: You're a Good Janet, and we're in the Good Place. I don't know who else it would mean.
Janet: Okay. No pressure. I was born to do this... Not born. [touches the sign] Okay, so I now know all the information about the Good Place. In a nutshell, it slaps. First thing to tell you: humans can't see the Good Place all at once or their brains will be scrambled.
Jason: Cool, maybe I'll finally get some of those squigglies on my brain. Doctor said my brain's as smooth as an egg.

Quote from Tahani

Eleanor: Oh, man. Look at this place!
Tahani: [wearing headphones] Karlie Kloss did like me! I knew it!

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