The Good Place Quotes

The Good Place

The Good Place

After her untimely death, Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell), a self-absorbed woman without much virtue to her name, arrives in a heavenly utopia run by architect Michael (Ted Danson).

Starring: Kristen Bell, William Jackson Harper, Jameela Jamil, D'Arcy Carden, Manny Jacinto, Ted Danson.
Recurring Actors: Marc Evan Jackson, Tiya Sircar, Maya Rudolph, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Jason Mantzoukas, Maribeth Monroe, Adam Scott, Brandon Scott Jones, Benjamin Koldyke.
Original Run: 2016-2020.

Popular Quotes

Quote from Tahani in A Girl from Arizona (Part 2)

Tahani: Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry.
Jason: Janet was my whole afterlife. How am I gonna get over her?
Tahani: I used to have a breakup routine when a relationship ended. Champagne and Alanis Morissette. Not the actual singer. I just listened to her albums at my friend Adele's house.


Quote from Michael in Chillaxing

Michael: I still don't have a grip on the human emotional spectrum. You guys are often happy when you should be sad and angry when you should be happy, and texting when you should be driving, which is not an emotion, I know, but it's insane. The point is, in this case, even if it's not rational, you're allowed to feel a little angry. Let yourself off the hook. Process it and work your way through it, and then get your shirt together. Because we have a lot of work to do.

Quote from Eleanor in Pandemonium

Eleanor: Yes, we will no longer be together. The Bad Place has pulled off the most intricate cork-blork of all time. Hmm, it's a nice touch that the cursing filter maintains the rhyme. I appreciate that attention to detail.

Trending Quotes

Quote from Jason in What's My Motivation

Michael: Okay, so, now, this is sort of a quick litmus test, basic questions designed to tell whether you were fundamentally good or bad. Number one: Did you ever commit a serious crime?
Jason: Yes, I blew up a guy's speedboat after he sued me. [beep] And... I stole an old lady's fake leg once on a dare. [beep]
Michael: Did you ever have a personalized license plate?
Jason: Yeah, dawg. "I LUV BUTTS". [beep]
Michael: Have... Have you ever paid money to hear music performed by California funk rock band the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
Jason: Yo, the Chilis? I saw them in concert like 50 times. [beep] I once got arrested trying to steal Flea's bass guitar. [beep] Oh, that was another serious crime I committed. I should have mentioned that earlier. [beep] Is it just me, or am I acing this test?
Michael: Oh, this is bad. Oh, this is so, so bad. Oh, I thought I had everything under control when I found Eleanor, but somehow you are... you're so much worse.

Quote from Michael in What We Owe to Each Other

Eleanor: What is it with you and frozen yogurt? Have you not heard of ice cream?
Michael: Oh, sure, but I've come to really like frozen yogurt. There's something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little so you can have more of it.
Eleanor: [chuckles] That is very human. Why do you need a human to be your assistant? I mean, aren't there more of... whatever you are?
Michael: Well, since we're becoming friends, like Ross and Phoebe...
Eleanor: Weird combo to pick, but okay.
Michael: I'm gonna tell you a secret. Usually, architects don't live in their neighborhoods. Usually, the people show up, we play the movie, Janet is there to answer questions, and you're on your own. But I had this theory. I thought transition would be easier if the architect were on-site for at least the first 1,000 years or so.
Eleanor: That's why you've been so freaked out. 'Cause your butt is on the line.
Michael: My boss thought I was nuts. And if this neighborhood doesn't work, I am in big trouble. But more importantly, I promised all of you that you would be safe and happy. And you just don't break a promise. Unlike Ross when he promised Emily not to talk to Rachel.
Eleanor: Wow, you are really into that show.

Quote from Chidi in Dance Dance Resolution

Chidi: I think this is pointless. We're trapped in a warped version of Nietzsche's eternal recurrence.
Eleanor: Oh, cool, more philosophy. That'll help us.
Chidi: Well, don't you see the problem? We are experiencing karma, but we can't learn from our mistakes, because our memories keep getting erased. It's an epistemological nightmare.
Eleanor: Ugh, even your nightmares are boring.
Chidi: You... you are so mean, Eleanor. You're just like those childhood bullies who said I would never get tenure.
Eleanor: And you are so irritating! In one of these reboots, I probably strangled you and then went to the Even Worse Place, but you know what? I bet it was worth it.
Chidi: Oh, nice.