Kelly: Ravi makes me incredibly happy. And Ryan puts me through so much drama. So I guess I just have to decide which of those is more important to me.

Michael Scott: Kelly, you are Hindu. So you believe in Buddha.
Kelly: That's Buddhists.
Michael Scott: Are you sure?
Kelly: No.

Kelly: If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself. Like Romeo + Juliet. The Claire Danes one.

Kelly: I love rivalries. Michael or Jim, Paris or Nicole, Heidi or L.C. It's so much fun. But I guess if I'm really thinking about it and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with L.C. Heidi's a bad friend, and her skin is terrible.

Kelly: Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sorta feel out what the situation calls for.

Kelly: I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, "Your mom is so fat, she could eat internet." But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like, "You're ugly, and I know it for a fact, 'cause I got the evidence right there."

Darryl: Still good. You guys lost a pound. You lost one pound.
Kelly: I was on an IV for two days at the hospital.

Gabe: That's very nice. [about Kelly's bindi] I never noticed that before.
Kelly: Sometimes my bangs cover it.
Gabe: Yeah. I don't want to be offensive but, uh... may I ask you what that means?
Kelly: I do find that offensive, actually.

Oscar: I think it should be Darryl.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: What a surprise! Minorities sticking together.
Oscar: Kelly's on your side.
Kelly: I'm sorry, is that all you think of me? A minority? I am so much more than that. I am a dancer, I'm a singer, I'm a fashion designer.

Kelly: Why is it okay for smokers to take breaks all the time? If I want to go outside and hang out once an hour, then I'll just take up smoking. I'll do it. I don't care.
Meredith: I'll smoke with you. I got a bag of cigars in my purse.