Kelly: So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four, number six becomes number five, number three becomes number two, etcetera, etcetera. And let's just say that I just sent back Love Actually, which was awesome. And they sent me Uptown Girls, which is also awesome. But guess what, now I want to see Love Actually again, but it's at the bottom of the queue. Oh, no, what do I do? What I do is this. I go online, I go click, click, click and I change the order of the queue, so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. It's so easy, Ryan. Do you really not know how Netflix works?
Ryan: I guess I forgot. [kisses Kelly]
Kelly: You're such a ditz.
Kevin: Ryan, well done. Two minutes, forty-two seconds. Additionally, Pam, you win ten because she said "awesome" 12 times, and Jim, you win five because she mentioned six romantic comedies.

Kelly: Will someone please explain what's going on here? Since the interesting thing happened til now, so much time has passed, it's like my life is buffering.

Kelly: [opening door] Hey guys, sorry I'm late.
Pam: We're not going for yogurt.
Michael Scott: It's okay, she's cool. She also whistle-blew.
Kelly: Guys, I couldn't help it, it is so boring where we work. I mean, it's as interesting as a morgue. It might be less interesting than a morgue.
Michael Scott: Hey, hey, it's as interesting as a morgue.
[aside to camera:]
Kelly: Of course I'm the leak! I think I tweeted it! I can't control what I say to people, I spend the whole day talking! I mean, I video chat, I Skype, I text, I Tweet, I phone, I Woof...

Andy: I'm really excited to introduce you guys to Ryan Howard. He has achieved a great deal in the last...
Kelly: But perhaps no achievement is greater than his on-again, off-again girlfriend.
Andy: What are you...
Kelly: Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.
[aside to camera:]
Kelly: It is important to brand yourself, so I have a couple of things in works. "The Business Bitch", "The Diet Bitch", "The Shopping Bitch", "The Etiquette Bitch."

Kelly: Well, I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now. And, God, I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Jim: Your department's just you, right?
Kelly: Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage.

Kelly: I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's.

Kelly: Jim!
Jim: Kelly!
Kelly: Oh, my God, I have so much to tell you!
Jim: Really?
Kelly: Yes. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, they had a baby and they named it Suri, and then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they had a baby, too, and they named it Shiloh. And both babies are amazing!
Jim: Great. What's new with you?
Kelly: I just told you.

Kelly: Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking. What kind of game is that?

Kelly: I guess Andy likes me. I never thought of him in that way. But, I guess in most romantic comedies, the guy you're supposed to be with is the one you never thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying or possibly homosexual.

Kelly: I think I would keep working. And for my salary I guess I would take like a dollar a year. I mean, obviously I wouldn't come in till noon and I wouldn't do anything I didn't wanna do. I mean, I'm getting paid a dollar a year, okay? You can chill.