Janine: Just wanted to check in in case this was tricky for you. You know, I grew up with this stuff and it gets me sometimes. I somehow lost my crypto wallet. [chuckles] But you come from a different generation, and so it would be totally understandable if you were having trouble with it.
Barbara: Are you kidding me? I'm Miss Tech, you know. I love tech. Shop at the App Store. Got a Hotmail. I once even rode in a Tesla. I'm already ahead on the first couple of lessons.
Janine: Wow. Well, that's great. Can I see?
Barbara: No. Janine, you're disturbing my students.
Janine: I'm... I'm whispering.
Barbara: It's just your... overall presence, so if you wouldn't mind just excusing yourself? I'm a little behind on my Hotmail correspondences.

Ava: I've done more for this school in one year than he did for the whole movie, so I-
Barbara: Okay, thank you.
Ava: Oh, I guess it's time to go. That kid's a reading fool.
Barbara: Good afternoon, Abbott. My student, William, will be reading Jack and Jill.
Ava: Oh! [laughs] Change of plans. My copy of Michelle Obama's book just came in, and since Will reads at a 4th grade level, that shouldn't be a problem.
Barbara: Oh, no. I really think that Will would prefer to read...
Ava: Don't nobody want to hear about pails and water and whatnot. We want to hear what "Michelle O" got to say. I hope there's a section in there about her meet cute with my man, Barry Hussein.

Melissa: Hey, Hill. That lesson, that was garbage. That's not what happened.
Jacob: Okay, well, I've read several books on the subject. I think I know the history of the lesson.
Melissa: Well, me and my family lived it, so I think we know the history.
Jacob: I've also listened to several podcasts.
Melissa: Look, how about this? I know a guy who was actually a captain back in the day. How about I hook you up, he can come to the class and do like an eyewitness account for the kids?
[aside to camera:]
Jacob: Unexpected, but I am so happy Melissa's bringing in a police captain. He's gonna be able to talk to the kids about how this is done peacefully.
[separately to camera:]
Melissa: I'm just really happy Vinny, the strike captain, is out of jail so he can do this. It's also gonna count towards his community service. Just 100 more hours, and his record's cleared.

Gregory: Good morning, kids. [kids are silent] Good morning to you all, as well.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: Subbing here has been... fine. [stammers] I haven't even gotten past teaching the kids my name, let alone that confusing reading program. I'm hoping once they learn those things, then we can just start watching movies.

Janine: You guys, I have been reading up on this, and our students are gonna get a huge boost from this software. I mean, our kids are gonna be reading at the speed of light.
Barbara: Well, I, for one, prefer the tried and true methods over whatever the latest doohickey is. I mean, I have yet to see the program that can do what I do by, you know, teaching.
Janine: Well, old-school teaching is great, but the latest doohickey can be a helpful addition.
Melissa: Yeah, tech has its place. Like when you haven't been with a man for a few years.

Ava: We are here to celebrate Barbara's genius kindergartners. This is a tremendous opportunity for this school. Before we begin, I would like to detail all the ways that I personally made this happen. It all started when I was watching Coach Carter for the 17th time.

Jacob: [to Gregory] And, uh, oh, you know Melissa, of course. She's, uh... you know, the Southern Philly type.
Melissa: 'Scuse me? You talking about me?
Jacob: Yeah, uh... I was... I was saying you are a, uh... A... A Southern Philly Type.
Melissa: South Philly.
Jacob: Right. Right. That's what I said. Right. Honestly, it's like... It's like the best part of our beautiful city. I love how you guys will just, like, park anywhere.
Melissa: Yeah, okay.
Jacob: You know, I'm actually teaching a lesson right now about the unions in the city and how many of them started in South Philly.
Melissa: Oh, no way. I know some guys that were part of that. I'm glad you're teaching that to the kids. Good job. [exits]
Jacob: Just like I said... she is a shady lady. [watches Melissa walk away] Mm. That's why you and me, we got to stick together, man. You know? Like coffee and creamer. [Gregory has gone]

Barbara: Alright, we are going to have to grab a noun from the Noun Pool...
Boy: I don't get this.
Barbara: Sweetheart, neither do I.
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: Okay, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to continue teaching my students how to read like I have been for 30 years. I'll input whatever information I need to into that program, and then I'll just keep doing what I have been doing, and everybody else will just have to back off.

Janine: Hey, Barbara. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. You clearly knew what you were doing, and I arrogantly assumed - or hoped, rather - that you would need my help, but once again, I need yours. You are officially Yoda with better edges.
Ava: Okay, which one of you Young Sheldons is gonna get me to Mars witcha little smart reading selves?
Barbara: There's actually no need for all of this. I'm just doing my job.
Ava: But don't forget, it was your girl that brought in that dope program. Oh, my God. Look at me, not even taking credit for something I had so much to do with. [laughs]

Ava: Girrrrllls... And Young Idris. Turns out the software we've been using was invented by the Pennsylvania Penal System to collect data for prisons.
Janine: Prisons?
Ava: Something about the correlation between lower reading levels and the amount of prison beds they're supposed to build?
Gregory: Oh, my God.
Ava: Apparently, it's illegal. [scoffs] I am just as disgusted as you all are. [takes tablets] Disgraceful.
Melissa: You're gonna sell those, aren't you?
Ava: And what would you rather I do, Melissa?