Barbara: Gregory, why would you sow secretly? Why would you prune privately? Why would you cull clandestinely? Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
Gregory: Are you done?
Jacob: Barbara, hit him one more time.
Barbara: Why would you be tight-lipped about tilling?

Barbara: What in the Earth, Wind and Fire is going on here?

Ava: Dang, can you blink? Is this one of those Stranger Things? What's your favorite song, Gregory?!

Jacob: Well, I don't hate anyone. Except for Jimmy Dontel-Anderson.
Barbara: Goodnight.
Jacob: Yeah, in sixth grade, he threw a handful of grapes at me while I was doing my solo in Moulin Rouge Jr. One went right into my mouth, straight down my throat, and I had to... [chokes] give myself the Heimlich. [Janine starts to walk away] Our chorus teacher didn't even stop playing. She just... You know, the show must go on.

Janine: [aside to camera] It looks like fun. I wish somebody would trace me. I think I'd be like 95% Family Matters re-runs and then 5% Dunkaroos.

Ava: Well, he fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? I'd like to climb that family tree.

Melissa: You know, Mr. Johnson's always the first to claim a player on the waiver wire. That's why he's been cleaning up. They should make him the new Mr. Clean. He's already bald.

Janine: Whoa! You know what? That's the final straw. Do you two want to watch Toy Story tomorrow?
Joya: Which one? I can't do 3 again.
Janine: Alright, well, you're not gonna be watching any of them unless you guys find a way to settle this. If you're mature enough to make the graphic drawings, then you're mature enough to work this out. Find a solution or you'll be in the library for Movie Friday. And we are watching the first Toy Story. The third one makes me cry.

Gregory: It's a flier for my dad's landscaping company.
Janine: Aww. [stammers] Uh, is that your brother?
Gregory: No, I'm actually an only child, but apparently appearing to be a family business helps bring in customers.
Janine: That's... Sorry, so your... Your dad, he hired an actor to play his son instead of just asking you?
Gregory: Yeah.
Janine: I think I'm confused.
Gregory: You're not.

[aside to camera:]
Janine: So, Zara and Joya don't get along the best, and lately, it's been getting worse. Kids rub each other the wrong way from time to time, but it's okay, no problem. I know how to handle these things. I've watched so many unlikely animal friend videos that I don't even know what "unlikely" means anymore.
[back:]
Zara: I'll beat you up.
[aside to camera:]
Janine: I'm pretty sure that was "I'll beam you up." Like, clearly, she's a Trekkie. She wants to beam her up on her ship. Her friend-ship.