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Season 2, Episode 12 -  Aired January 11, 2023

Janine is determined o get involved when two of her students don't like each other. Meanwhile, Gregory's father, Martin Eddie (Orlando Jones) visits Abbott Elementary, and Melissa and Ava team up to challenge Mr. Johnson's fantasy football team.

Quote from Barbara

Barbara: Gregory, why would you sow secretly? Why would you prune privately? Why would you cull clandestinely? Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
Gregory: Are you done?
Jacob: Barbara, hit him one more time.
Barbara: Why would you be tight-lipped about tilling?


Quote from Barbara

Barbara: What in the Earth, Wind and Fire is going on here?

Quote from Ava

Ava: Dang, can you blink? Is this one of those Stranger Things? What's your favorite song, Gregory?!

Quote from Jacob

Jacob: Well, I don't hate anyone. Except for Jimmy Dontel-Anderson.
Barbara: Goodnight.
Jacob: Yeah, in sixth grade, he threw a handful of grapes at me while I was doing my solo in Moulin Rouge Jr. One went right into my mouth, straight down my throat, and I had to... [chokes] give myself the Heimlich. [Janine starts to walk away] Our chorus teacher didn't even stop playing. She just... You know, the show must go on.

Quote from Janine

Janine: [aside to camera] It looks like fun. I wish somebody would trace me. I think I'd be like 95% Family Matters re-runs and then 5% Dunkaroos.

Quote from Ava

Ava: Well, he fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? I'd like to climb that family tree.

Quote from Melissa

Melissa: You know, Mr. Johnson's always the first to claim a player on the waiver wire. That's why he's been cleaning up. They should make him the new Mr. Clean. He's already bald.

Quote from Janine

Janine: Whoa! You know what? That's the final straw. Do you two want to watch Toy Story tomorrow?
Joya: Which one? I can't do 3 again.
Janine: Alright, well, you're not gonna be watching any of them unless you guys find a way to settle this. If you're mature enough to make the graphic drawings, then you're mature enough to work this out. Find a solution or you'll be in the library for Movie Friday. And we are watching the first Toy Story. The third one makes me cry.

Quote from Gregory

Gregory: It's a flier for my dad's landscaping company.
Janine: Aww. [stammers] Uh, is that your brother?
Gregory: No, I'm actually an only child, but apparently appearing to be a family business helps bring in customers.
Janine: That's... Sorry, so your... Your dad, he hired an actor to play his son instead of just asking you?
Gregory: Yeah.
Janine: I think I'm confused.
Gregory: You're not.

Quote from Janine

[aside to camera:]
Janine: So, Zara and Joya don't get along the best, and lately, it's been getting worse. Kids rub each other the wrong way from time to time, but it's okay, no problem. I know how to handle these things. I've watched so many unlikely animal friend videos that I don't even know what "unlikely" means anymore.
Zara: I'll beat you up.
[aside to camera:]
Janine: I'm pretty sure that was "I'll beam you up." Like, clearly, she's a Trekkie. She wants to beam her up on her ship. Her friend-ship.

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