Barbara Howard Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Quote from Zoo Balloon

Barbara: [to camera] I have been through this many times before. [Gregory and Janine shouting "Kenny!"] The worst was 2005. A child by the name of August got lost in The Hershey Factory, looking for a chocolate river. Mnh!


Quote from New Tech

Janine: Just wanted to check in in case this was tricky for you. You know, I grew up with this stuff and it gets me sometimes. I somehow lost my crypto wallet. [chuckles] But you come from a different generation, and so it would be totally understandable if you were having trouble with it.
Barbara: Are you kidding me? I'm Miss Tech, you know. I love tech. Shop at the App Store. Got a Hotmail. I once even rode in a Tesla. I'm already ahead on the first couple of lessons.
Janine: Wow. Well, that's great. Can I see?
Barbara: No. Janine, you're disturbing my students.
Janine: I'm... I'm whispering.
Barbara: It's just your... overall presence, so if you wouldn't mind just excusing yourself? I'm a little behind on my Hotmail correspondences.

Quote from Student Transfer

Jacob: Barbara, have you ever been roasted by your students?
Barbara: One, they're 5. Two, they respect me. Three, what would they even say?

Quote from Ava vs. Superintendent

Barbara: Well, my suggestion to all of you is to enjoy your free periods while you can. Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye like Blackstreet Boyz II Men.
Janine: Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways.

Quote from Pilot

Barbara: Janine. Turn that down, please! I'm trying to teach my kindergartners the letter "C," and they are distracted by this song. It's like "Back That Azz Up" for kids.
Janine: Hey, guys, um, could you sit down, please? [music continues] Guys, I'm gonna count to 3. 1... 2...
Barbara: And I am not counting. Sit down! [music stops]
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: I'm Barbara Howard, woman of God. I do my work, I go home. I get my nails done every week. And... I love teaching.

Quote from Pilot

Barbara: Janine, ignore Ava. Big feet are a sign of fertility.
Janine: Every lunch period, Barbara. Every single one, Amir comes and naps on the rug.
Barbara: Mm-hmm. He was in my class. Mom's got a lot of kids. Dad's not around, and when he is, the parents fight.
Janine: Right. So he doesn't get much sleep. I told him to sleep at his desk, but he says the rug is softer... softer than his bed at home. You know what? I don't care if you think I'm good at this or not anymore. I care about whether or not I can make a change.
Barbara: Janine, teachers at a school like Abbott... we have to be able to do it all. We are admin. We are social workers. We are therapists. We are second parents. Hell, sometimes, we're even first.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: Why? Heh, it sure ain't the money.
Melissa: Mm-hmm. I could make more working the street... easy. Look, we do this 'cause we're supposed to. It's a calling.
Janine: Mm.
Melissa: You answered.

Quote from Art Teacher

Barbara: Devin's right. We're being foolish.
Jacob: Barbara!
Barbara: I cannot believe that I let myself get carried away. Projects like this, they do not work in public schools. [gasps] I pulled a Janine.
Jacob: I still think there's a way to make...
Barbara: Mnh-mnh! Mnh! [walks off]
Jacob: It... work.

Quote from Desking

Barbara: [enters] Sweet baby Jesus, and the grown one, too! My desks have been desked!
Mr. Johnson: They got you?
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Gregory: Oh, this is bad.
Barbara: Mnh!
Melissa: Their fault. They went on a desking promotional tour.
Jacob: No, uh...
Barbara: What have you done?

Quote from Ava vs. Superintendent

Barbara: I know we need the money. And I have applied for that Advancement Grant for 10 years now. I just don't want to compromise my morals to get it.
Jacob: Look, while I admire that you've applied years in a row, have you heard that saying about the definition of insanity?
Barbara: Have you ever heard the saying that I will pop you upside your head if you imply that I am insane?

Quote from Desking

Ava: No! Why is my Internet not sending me anything cool? I should have gotten that video before Mr. Johnson. No offense, boo.
Barbara: [chuckles] It is not your phone, Ava. You are not one of them. You are not a Jojo Sea-bass.
Janine: You mean JoJo Siwa?
Barbara: I don't know what I mean, Janine. That's the point. But I do know that you all need to stop pretending like you can relate to these children. Because when you do, it just seems sad, desperate, and embarrassing.
Melissa: Mm.
Ava: You heard Barbara. Y'all are embarrassing.

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