Barbara: [to camera] I have been through this many times before. [Gregory and Janine shouting "Kenny!"] The worst was 2005. A child by the name of August got lost in The Hershey Factory, looking for a chocolate river. Mnh!

Jacob: Barbara, have you ever been roasted by your students?
Barbara: One, they're five. Two, they respect me. Three, what would they even say?

Mr. Johnson: Don't take it so hard. Everybody gets dumped. If it can happen to Michael B. Jordan, it can happen to you.
Barbara: Now, that white boy sure can act. Ooh! I love those Back to the Future movies.
Together: Michael J. Fox.
Barbara: Hmm?

Janine: But, uh, Barbara, what are you doing tonight?
Barbara: I'm going to a screening of Rocky Horror at my church. [off Janine's look] They take out all the cursing, all the references to sex and sexuality. It comes in at just under 26 minutes, and it is a hoot!
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: It's a yearly tradition. We've watched Nightmare Before Christmas, but only the Christmas parts, Practical Magic without the witchcraft, and Hocus Pocus without Sarah Jessica Parker.

Barbara: You know, if it wasn't for one of Melissa's speeches, I never would have watched The King's Speech.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: But I tell you what. That Colin Powell sure can act. Mm!

Barbara: Gregory, why would you sow secretly? Why would you prune privately? Why would you cull clandestinely? Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
Gregory: Are you done?
Jacob: Barbara, hit him one more time.
Barbara: Why would you be tight-lipped about tilling?

Barbara: What in the Earth, Wind and Fire is going on here?

Barbara: I hope this isn't another assembly about a new e-mail system. I am not doing two-step verification. They can just hack me.
Melissa: They did hack you. Remember when your account sent out all that pornography?
Barbara: I do not.
Melissa: Okay.

Melissa: What's the matter? You don't want to sleep in here with us?
Barbara: I do, but I need space to calm my kids down. My class and half the school is traumatized after hearing Ava Night Shyamalan.
Melissa: [to camera] That's the name she remembers?

Janine: Just wanted to check in in case this was tricky for you. You know, I grew up with this stuff and it gets me sometimes. I somehow lost my crypto wallet. [chuckles] But you come from a different generation, and so it would be totally understandable if you were having trouble with it.
Barbara: Are you kidding me? I'm Miss Tech, you know. I love tech. Shop at the App Store. Got a Hotmail. I once even rode in a Tesla. I'm already ahead on the first couple of lessons.
Janine: Wow. Well, that's great. Can I see?
Barbara: No. Janine, you're disturbing my students.
Janine: I'm... I'm whispering.
Barbara: It's just your... overall presence, so if you wouldn't mind just excusing yourself? I'm a little behind on my Hotmail correspondences.