Janine: But, uh, Barbara, what are you doing tonight?
Barbara: I'm going to a screening of Rocky Horror at my church. [off Janine's look] They take out all the cursing, all the references to sex and sexuality. It comes in at just under 26 minutes, and it is a hoot!
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: It's a yearly tradition. We've watched Nightmare Before Christmas, but only the Christmas parts, Practical Magic without the witchcraft, and Hocus Pocus without Sarah Jessica Parker.

Janine: Look, I got this bag of candy from Joel and Carolina's mom. She wanted me to give it to you. Maybe she wants you to get a cavity or something.
Gregory: Oh. That's nice of her, but no thanks. I truly hate candy unless it's 96% cacao.

Janine: Did anybody see where Baby Thanos went?
Gregory: He has to be in here somewhere.
Baby Thanos: [over intercom] It's Halloween. Kids deserve candy. It's not fair to keep it from us. I am inedible! [children cheering]
Janine: I think he means, "I am inevitable."
Melissa: Yeah, okay.
Barbara: Mm, Baby Theranos is in Ava's office!

Jacob: Mm. Vision. I love it.
Mr. Johnson: Lil Uzi Vert. I'd be sure to throw away all my trash today.
Jacob: Oh, right. Of course. Ant season?
Mr. Johnson: Ghost season.
Jacob: [laughs] That's funny.
Mr. Johnson: Nothing funny about it, playboy. The janitor used to work right here... spent his days picking up trash. Was good at it, too. But he couldn't stop people from leaving their trash everywhere. And it haunted him till the day he died mysteriously on Halloween, right here, in the very basement of this school.
Jacob: What?
Mr. Johnson: Every Halloween, if you listen closely, you can hear the wheels of his mop bucket rolling down there. [thunder crashes]
Jacob: Oh!

Melissa: [aside to camera] Oh, I love Halloween. Best holiday... by far. Disguises, crime, lookin' hot? These are my specialties.

Chad: [as Mr. Johnson] That costume is trash.
Melissa: Oh, look, Mr. Johnson, he's you!
Mr. Johnson: That's pretty cute. But I didn't approve my likeness rights. You better lawyer up, kid.

Jacob: Happy Halloween, Gregory. Or, uh [chuckles] should I say... Kareem Abdul-Jabbar from Airplane!?
Mr. Johnson: No, he's my friend Steve. You'll meet him.
Gregory: N-No, I'm Sully Sullenberger. [silence] Chesley Burnett Sullenberger? A.K.A. the pilot who landed the plane on the Hudson River?
Jacob: Ooh, ooh! Guess mine.
Gregory: The Hamburglar?
Mr. Johnson: Clearly, you're wage theft.
Jacob: Ah! Exactly! [thunder rumbles]
Gregory: So that's the costume you get?

Gregory: That is the best and maybe only James Harden costume I've ever seen.
Janine: [laughs] Thank you. Oh, my God. Did you see Jacob's costume? He's wage theft. I guessed it on the first try.
Gregory: Mm-hmm.
Janine: Oh, my God. That is a good costume.
Gregory: Thank you.
Janine: Yes, millennial Tuskegee airman. I love that. Red Tails? So underrated. Oh! Ooh. [ball bouncing]
[aside to camera:]
Janine: Ha-ha! Got him. [laughs] I knew he was a regular Tuskegee airman, not a millennial one. Did you see his face?

Janine: [aside to camera] Erika's super nice from what I remember, but I just don't know her that well. And I won't know anyone at that party. And I really do have plans tonight. I put up a camera to try to keep kids from egging my house, and, as of this morning, it has not worked. But maybe tonight.

Melissa: Okay. So, what did we learn? Don't go to Salem. Or Boston. You know what? Just skip the whole state.