‘Festival’
Season 2, Episode 19 - Aired March 15, 2023
The teachers organize a festival at Abbott Elementary hoping to gather enough signatures to stop Legendary Schools' attempt to turn Abbott into a charter school.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
Mr. Johnson: Now turn around. I gotta wand you, son. [imitating wand buzzing]
Man: Is that a curling iron?
Mr. Johnson: Can't be too careful.
Quote from Barbara
Janine: I know that this seems really, really bad, but look, no matter what happens, we are still Abbott Elementary. You know, they can't take that away from us.
Ava: Just found out we're not gonna be Abbott Elementary anymore. Draemond is changing the name to "Legendary Schools Presents: Abbott Charter."
Barbara: What in the Lee Daniels?
Melissa: I mean... [laughter]
Jacob: Wait, I don't get it.
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: [quietly to phone] Who is Lee Daniels?
Janine: Yes. We're gonna fight back.
Phone Voice: Here is what I found for Lee Daniels. African Amer- [Jacob throws his phone in the sink]
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: I'm not loved by all of the parents, uh, except for the one that calls me Stuart Little. But even that, I'm not sure is the compliment I want it to be.
Quote from Jacob
Janine: Here it is. Item number seven of next week's school board meeting. A proposal to transition Abbott Elementary into a Legendary Charter School for the 2023-24 school year.
Jacob: Times New Roman, the most decisive of the fonts.
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: This is horrible. I can't be a charter teacher. I-I don't have the wardrobe for it.
Quote from Janine
Janine: And I am gonna talk to every parent I see and tell them what Legendary is up to. When they find out, they are going to storm the gates...
Melissa: Mm.
Janine: ...of the school board. If they have gates there.
Barbara: Wait. We can hardly get parents to come to the Open House. I don't think you're gonna get that many at drop off.
Janine: Oh, no, I'm very good at canvassing. People always open the door for me 'cause they think I'm a lost child.
Quote from Ava
Janine: Oh, Ava, you look great.
Ava: [scoffs] It'd be breaking news if I didn't.
Melissa: Where are you headed?
Ava: To handle my business. I would tell y'all my plan, but then it'd be compromised and this walk off wouldn't be as enticing.
Quote from Janine
Janine: Oh, hey! You're the mom with the bi-
Krystal: Mm.
Janine: You're Krystal, right?
Krystal: Yep. Oh, cute look.
Janine: Thank you.
Krystal: You should let me hook you up with my brand. We just released our line of extra-petite bitch.
Janine: Okay. Thank you.