‘Egg Drop’
Season 2, Episode 8 - Aired November 16, 2022
Janine is insistent that her second grade class should join the eighth grade egg drop. Meanwhile, Barbara is offended by the clothing one of her student's parents wears.
Quote from Barbara
Barbara: [aside to camera] As a good Christian woman, I would never mark my body with such an obscenity. I don't even believe in saying that word out loud. Ugh. My favorite "B" word? Barbara. Oh! Bible. [gasps] Blessing. Blueberries.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
Melissa: While we're here, I'm not sure I believe the moon landing happened.
Mr. Johnson: I don't believe in the moon.
Jacob: I believe that gluten intolerance is just internalized white guilt.
Mr. Johnson: Gluten isn't real!
Ava: Stevie Wonder ain't blind.
Melissa: You know, Bill Gates...
Quote from Ava
Barbara: Ava, I'm surprised. You actually have a problem with this?
Ava: Sure do, but it's about placement not the content. The clavicle is such a powerful bone. Why take attention away from it? Keep the tattoos to the tatas. That's hot.
Barbara: How could anyone find this tata tattoo hot? Much less appropriate?
Ava: Well, it's a generational thing, Barb. Women her age grew up with Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown, and Eve.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: And I grew up with Adam and Eve. And maybe all this young woman needs is a little guidance. Heh.
Ava: Barb wouldn't be offended by my tattoos, unless she speaks Mandarin. Chinese people hate my tattoos.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
Mr. Johnson: I don't like science... Too many laws. And who's the judge? God?
Quote from Mr. Johnson
Mr. Johnson: I bet you believe dinosaurs really went extinct. [chuckles]
Quote from Gregory
Barbara: What is that?
Jacob: Oh, my God.
Barbara: A bone?
Jacob: From a person?
Melissa: Nope. [runs off]
Barbara: Ohh. Have mercy.
[aside to camera:]
Mr. Johnson: [holding a skeleton] [laughs] Got 'em. Wait. Was this the one I buried? Oh.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: It's a beef rib. [chuckles] Got 'em. Stay out of my garden.
Quote from Ava
Ava: So that's the school district's requirements. Now, hurry up and talk about your individual goals or whatever. This is cutting into my pre-happy hour hour.
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: Uh, I have an entire week dedicate to the historical terrors of Thanksgiving for the indigenous people, followed by a screening of the seminal film...
Ava: Soul Food?
Jacob: You know it.
Both: [sing] ♪ Mama ♪
Quote from Janine
Barbara: Well, I love the holidays, and this year Barbara Howard's Little Helpers will be making the most adorable handprint Christmas trees.
Janine: And my kids will be doing hand turkey art, and I'll be recycling it to soak up all the snow that gets through the cracks in the windows.
Gregory: Children's hands really seem to carry the holidays.
Janine: Yeah, they do. It's crazy.
Quote from Ava
Mr. Morton: Uh, my eighth grade students and I will need the gym and a safety ladder next week.
Gregory: For a dunk contest?
Mr. Morton: No. We'll be doing the egg drop. Appreciate it if everyone can bring any eggs that they can spare.
Ava: Good. 'Cause we're low on eggs in the lounge, and my doctor says I need some omega-3s.