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Gifted Program

‘Gifted Program’

Season 1, Episode 6 -  Aired February 1, 2022

Janine argues for a gifted program at the school. Meanwhile, Barbara encourages Melissa to start dating again.

Quote from Jacob

Janine: [gasps] You know what? We should have a gifted program here. I mean, I need something for the kids in my class to do other than grade papers and... [off Barbara's look] I'm kidding. But, seriously, I loved the gifted program I was in growing up. I learned so much, and those experiences were priceless.
Jacob: I was in one, too. Yeah. I got to write my own musical rap parody about Monsanto. It was called "Mo' Santo, Mo' Problems." Yo, check it... [Barbara cuts Jacob off]

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Quote from Jacob

Jacob: I, for one, love the program. I feel like a blend of Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society and, well, Robin Williams in Patch Adams.
Gregory: Didn't all those kids in Patch Adams die of cancer?
Jacob: Well, the real cancer is ignorance.
Gregory: Mm, the real cancer is cancer.

Quote from Janine

Janine: [aside to camera] It'd be easy to just give up and not have a gifted program, but there was an acronym I learned in the one I was in... PIE... Perseverance, Ingenuity, and Effort. I love PIE. Even though I can't eat it, though. Hurts my tummy. [chuckles] But I did try it for many years. That's the perseverance part, which is why we should have a gifted program.

Quote from Melissa

Janine: Thank you so much.
Animal Control Person: It's my job. By the way, this is actually an endangered species. Can I ask where you got these?
[Melissa signals "I'm watching you" to Janine]
Janine: Um... it was a pop-up shop on 52nd Street. Not there anymore. Gone. Can't track it. [chuckles]
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: Yeah, I heard about the snakes. So, what happened was, I got a guy named Chicken for snake eggs and a guy named Snake for chicken eggs. I called Chicken for snakes, when I should have called Snake for chickens. Whoops.

Quote from Ava

Ava: Anyway, Malcolm has a bright future. I can already see him at the White House, thanking Ms. Ava Eva Coleman for turning him into the Oprah of Science.
Barbara: All you ever have to be is the Malcolm of Science, and that will be enough.
Janine: Mm-hmm.
Malcolm: Thank you.
Janine: Malcolm, would you like to go get some breakfast with the other kids?
Ava: Yes! Go get whatever your super brain needs. We have fish oils or whatever. Make way! Smart kid coming through. Don't look at him with your regular IQs.

Quote from Ava

Janine: Well, Jacob is going to teach the gifted program during his free periods. I would love to till the fertile soil and grow the minds of tomorrow. I'll be like, um, that guy in that movie.
Ava: Coach Carter.
Jacob: No. Um...
Ava: Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
Jacob: No, no.
Ava: What's that rock-climbing movie? Wait. Don't tell me.
Jacob: No, none of these. It's...
Ava: Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
Janine: Hey, um, Ava? What do you think? A chance to make more Science Oprahs?
Ava: 27 Hours. That's the name of the rock-climbing movie.
Jacob: No.
Ava: I knew it. I knew it.

Quote from Melissa

Janine: So, when I first got the ball moving on the gifted program, I said, "Janine..."
Melissa: Okay, skip this part. What do you want?
Janine: Some chicken eggs that will hatch for my class. I want to teach them about their reproductive systems.
Melissa: Gimme a week.

Quote from Jacob

Jacob: The chicken has an ovary and an oviduct, and as the female reaches maturity, these ova develop a few at a time into yolks. And when they hatch, what do we get? We get breakfast. Am I right? Served ova easy.
Boy: It's happening! They're hatching!
Janine: [gasps] Aww! Look at that. They're seeing that chickens don't just come from Crown Fried Chicken.
Jacob: [sings] ♫ I'm comin' out of retirement to save the environment ♫ ♫ I like farms 'cause they're rustic, but GMOs - don't trust it ♫
Boy: Ms. Teagues, I'm smart. Can I go to the chicken school?
All: Me too!
Jacob: [call and response] Franken...
Children: Food!
Jacob: Franken...
Children: Food!
Jacob: Very good.

Quote from Gregory

Janine: I think some of the kids who aren't in the gifted program are feeling left out.
Gregory: Agreed. And they took all the talking kids, so now I have to talk.

Quote from Gregory

Janine: What do you normally do after school, anyway?
Gregory: Work out, watch Jeopardy!
Janine: Work out and watch Jeopardy!?
Gregory: Yeah, at the same time. It stimulates the body and the mind.
Janine: That's cool.

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