Ava: Barbara, this came for you.
Barbara: I have to go to court?
Ava: Oh, wait. This is a cease-and-desist for me. Coleman Camping Supplies seems to think that they're the only Colemans that can sell camping supplies. I got lanterns, too.

Melissa: There's a green bubble on the group chat.
Gregory: I have an iPhone, but I left the group chat after Mr. Johnson started that soup thread.
Jacob: Uh, it's me, okay? I-I got a new phone. A droid.
Janine: Wait, there's a group chat?
Jacob: Look, it's not easy being green, okay? Android discrimination is one of the last acceptable forms of hate in this country. There was a pothole on 50th Street. I tried to warn you about it.
Melissa: Yeah, well, I hit it because I couldn't read your stupid text. I just don't have time for this. [throws Jacob's phone] Go back to the blue bubble! Life is hard enough as it is. Now I got two classes worth of grades to finish and a tire to replace.
Jacob: You know what? I would like to see your phone survive that.

Ava: You didn't complete your continuing education requirements.
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: Every five years, every schoolteacher must take continuing education classes, as mandated by the school district, which means that after all these years, I must prove to them that I can still teach. It is preposterous.

Ava: [over intercom] Attention, Abbott! After school in the gym, we'll be having the Educator of the Year ceremony for the slim, the sensual, the strange Gregory Eddie. He'll receive said award from everyone's favorite neighborhood Italian, Melissa Schemmenti. Gaba gootz! Ladies free before 3:00 p.m. Sponsored by Bone Town. Oww, oww!

Barbara: I need help signing into a continuing education class.
Jacob: Okay, well, let's take a look-see. Looks like a lot of goofy acronyms so far.
Barbara: Mm. A complete waste of time.
Jacob: NAP - Nodding and Praising.
Barbara: I only praise the Lord.
Jacob: MUD - Meeting Under Duress.
Barbara: Mm, I came up out of the mud.
Jacob: FART - Facilitating A Reading Tyke.
Barbara: Seems like they wanted to do that.

News Producer: Could we get some B-roll ahead of the interview with our Mr. Eddie?
Ava: Of course. We have everything you need for a motivational yet emotional package. Sad kids, mad kids, happy kids, new kids. [A teen gives the finger to the camera] Ignore that kid.

Barbara: Congratulations, Gregory.
Gregory: Thanks, I guess. This is weird, right? How can I be Educator of the Year if I haven't even been a full-time teacher for the whole year?
Barbara: Well, typically, the award has been about optics. And by awarding you, it might encourage other young Black men to become elementary school teachers. Besides, it makes them look good.
Ava: It's not merit-based at all, but who wants to live in a meritocracy? [laughs]
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: I don't get it. I'm also very uncomfortable with the extra attention. I'm uncomfortable in general, but...

Janine: Alright. You guys are killing it, truly. So, what is the capital of Alaska? Tasia.
Tasia: Juneau.
Janine: That's right - Juneau, which is also a very funny movie. [chuckles]

Gregory: Come on. Enjoy your recess. And please don't eat any dirt. I just added new fertilizer.

Gregory: Great. Awesome. You can head out. Right this way. So- Oh, my bad. You're the doc crew. You're the one with the bird tattoo, not the snake. You can stay. But y'all can dip like guacamole. Come on, now. There it is. Okay. The door is right down this hallway.