Jacob: Gregory, you never told us your favorite pizza place.
Gregory: Oh, I should sit this one out. I'm more of a Baltimore-style pizza guy.
Barbara: Ooh, Baltimore pizza. I've never heard about that. What makes it so different?
Gregory: You never heard of Baltimore style? Oh, it's... It's great. It's, um, really crunchy... and, like, wet.
Melissa: Wet?
Gregory: Yeah, yeah. No, it's... it's... It's, um... it's great. Next time you're there, go to, um... Say Cheese. Say Cheese Pizza. It's... They soak it. It's, like, sopping. It's... mmm. I gotta go talk to a child about a little thing.

Janine: Yes, it's less sugar. It's better all around. It's a really easy low-lift win for our kids. So what do you guys think?
Gregory: Less sugar is compelling. I'm not really a big fan of juice. I prefer nature's juice... Water.

Janine: Look, I got this bag of candy from Joel and Carolina's mom. She wanted me to give it to you. Maybe she wants you to get a cavity or something.
Gregory: Oh. That's nice of her, but no thanks. I truly hate candy unless it's 96% cacao.

Barbara: Jacob and I are starting a garden to grow some vegetables for the students.
Gregory: Oh, wow. That's really cool.
Jacob: We got an extra pair of gloves if you want in.
Gregory: No, thanks, I'm good. I mean, I appreciate it, though. Just the opposite of green thumbs over here.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: In the '60s, my grandfather started a landscaping business, Eddie Lawn & Care. Then, in the '90s, my father took it over. Then, for the first 20 years of my life, I spent every single summer "vacation" planting, mowing, and raking. I cannot stand gardening.
[back:]
Gregory: You don't want to over water that one. From what I've heard.

Gregory: [aside to camera] Jacob and Barbara have no idea what they're doing. He was trying to plant a coconut in West Philadelphia in soil with a sub-6.3 pH. Bruh!

Gregory: [aside to camera] Oh, they were absolutely killing everything. I don't think a single seed would have survived. I couldn't just sit there and watch that. It's like my dad always said. "A real man doesn't ignore the root of the problem. Now pick that hoe up!" I hate gardening so much.

Ava: What about you?
Gregory: Oh, I like Fridays. It's my cheat day.
Barbara: And what do you do on your cheat day?
Gregory: Oh, I work out. I just don't do cardio.

Gregory: Oh, I mean, it's all gonna be trash to me. I'm a Baltimore pizza guy, like I said.
Jacob: Mm. You know what? I thought that might happen. And so, as your best friend here at Abbott, I took it upon myself to drive two hours to Baltimore to get you your favorite pizza from Say Cheese.
Gregory: That's crazy.
Jacob: I even asked the pizzaiolo to make it extra crunchy and wet. Bon appétit.
Gregory: Hmm. [picks up greasy, wet slice of pizza] A-All right, man, you... I can't do this. I-I just don't like pizza!
Mr. Johnson: What?! [mop clatters] Say that again. I don't think I heard you, son.
Barbara: Sweetheart, what do you mean you don't like pizza?
Gregory: I just don't understand the concept of having a bunch of ingredients just slosh around in your mouth! It's not just pizza. I've got like four or five things that I actually like, and I just stick to those.

Gregory: Our principal is otherwise engaged. But I'm happy to fill in for her. How can I help you?
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: I took a series of catastrophe modules in my principal training. I'm also prepared for tidal waves, Facebook crashing - that's for the older teachers - and a lice outbreak. For the white teachers.

Gregory: Good morning, kids. [kids are silent] Good morning to you all, as well.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: Subbing here has been... fine. [stammers] I haven't even gotten past teaching the kids my name, let alone that confusing reading program. I'm hoping once they learn those things, then we can just start watching movies.