Gregory Eddie Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Quote from Step Class

Jacob: Gregory, you never told us your favorite pizza place.
Gregory: Oh, I should sit this one out. I'm more of a Baltimore-style pizza guy.
Barbara: Ooh, Baltimore pizza. I've never heard about that. What makes it so different?
Gregory: You never heard of Baltimore style? Oh, it's... It's great. It's, um, really crunchy... and, like, wet.
Melissa: Wet?
Gregory: Yeah, yeah. No, it's... it's... It's, um... it's great. Next time you're there, go to, um... Say Cheese. Say Cheese Pizza. It's... They soak it. It's, like, sopping. It's... mmm. I gotta go talk to a child about a little thing.

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Quote from Art Teacher

Barbara: Jacob and I are starting a garden to grow some vegetables for the students.
Gregory: Oh, wow. That's really cool.
Jacob: We got an extra pair of gloves if you want in.
Gregory: No, thanks, I'm good. I mean, I appreciate it, though. Just the opposite of green thumbs over here.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: In the '60s, my grandfather started a landscaping business, Eddie Lawn & Care. Then, in the '90s, my father took it over. Then, for the first 20 years of my life, I spent every single summer "vacation" planting, mowing, and raking. I cannot stand gardening.
[back:]
Gregory: You don't want to over water that one. From what I've heard.

Quote from Art Teacher

Gregory: [aside to camera] Jacob and Barbara have no idea what they're doing. He was trying to plant a coconut in West Philadelphia in soil with a sub-6.3 pH. Bruh!

Quote from Art Teacher

Gregory: [aside to camera] Oh, they were absolutely killing everything. I don't think a single seed would have survived. I couldn't just sit there and watch that. It's like my dad always said. "A real man doesn't ignore the root of the problem. Now pick that hoe up!" I hate gardening so much.

Quote from Step Class

Ava: What about you?
Gregory: Oh, I like Fridays. It's my cheat day.
Barbara: And what do you do on your cheat day?
Gregory: Oh, I work out. I just don't do cardio.

Quote from Step Class

Gregory: Oh, I mean, it's all gonna be trash to me. I'm a Baltimore pizza guy, like I said.
Jacob: Mm. You know what? I thought that might happen. And so, as your best friend here at Abbott, I took it upon myself to drive two hours to Baltimore to get you your favorite pizza from Say Cheese.
Gregory: That's crazy.
Jacob: I even asked the pizzaiolo to make it extra crunchy and wet. Bon appétit.
Gregory: Hmm. [picks up greasy, wet slice of pizza] A-All right, man, you... I can't do this. I-I just don't like pizza!
Mr. Johnson: What?! [mop clatters] Say that again. I don't think I heard you, son.
Barbara: Sweetheart, what do you mean you don't like pizza?
Gregory: I just don't understand the concept of having a bunch of ingredients just slosh around in your mouth! It's not just pizza. I've got like four or five things that I actually like, and I just stick to those.

Quote from New Tech

Gregory: Good morning, kids. [kids are silent] Good morning to you all, as well.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: Subbing here has been... fine. [stammers] I haven't even gotten past teaching the kids my name, let alone that confusing reading program. I'm hoping once they learn those things, then we can just start watching movies.

Quote from Step Class

Jacob: Is he doing sit-ups in there?
Barbara: Gregory, what are you doing out here?!
Melissa: Is this about the pizza?!
Gregory: No.
Jacob: What is that? What are you eating?
Gregory: Why don't you just leave me and my boiled-chicken sandwich alone!
Melissa: Oh, boiled?! That's the worst way to cook it, man!
Gregory: Oh, I'm sorry. I could salt it... You know what? I don't have to explain anything to y'all, okay? I'm a grown-ass man! [closes car window]
Barbara: Ooh, I think we broke that boy.

Quote from Step Class

Jacob: Do you like pie?
Gregory: Fruit should not be hot.
Barbara: Okay. What about a rack of ribs? Dry rub, no sauce!
Gregory: That is not for me, but I do like bacon.
Mr. Johnson: He's lying. He doesn't like bacon.
Melissa: So, how could you not like pizza, Gregory? How could you not like... It's pizza!
Gregory: See? This is why I don't ever tell anybody, okay? 'Cause everyone always freaks out and acts like it's a personal attack. It's not my fault! I was born this way.
Jacob: Don't you bring Lady Gaga into this.
[Gregory grumbles and walks out]
Mr. Johnson: He doesn't like bacon.
Barbara: Mm-mm-mm.

Quote from Wishlist

Gregory: Well, all right. So, I'm at a, um, construction site here.
Janine: No, you're at a playground. Those are the kids.
Gregory: But this is a caution sign.
Janine: That's the sun.
Gregory: Square sun. Okay. Don Cheadle.
Janine: No. That's you.
Gregory: Hmm.
Janine: Yeah.
Gregory: Okay, and, uh, this is, uh, a fireman.
Janine: San... Santa. Ooh! We're gonna have to take this really slow. [chuckles]
Gregory: Uh, where are you seeing Santa?
Janine: In the belly. In the beard. In the presents. In the red suit.

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 Tyler James Williams