Oscar: Did you ever think of WUPHF as an emergency notification system, like, for college campuses with shooters or gas leaks?
Ryan: No, no. Oscar, it's not- It's not a digital rape whistle. WUPHF is about fun. Fun, communication, connection.
Oscar: What's your money situation?
Ryan: Well, it's tight, as with any start-up.
Oscar: Sure, how long can you sustain this without a cash infusion?
Ryan: We have nine solid days. I love these questions. Keep 'em coming.
Andy: I'm sorry, nine days until what?
Oscar: Bankruptcy?
Michael Scott: Wait, Ryan, so this could be over by the weekend?
Oscar: How long do you think a week is?

Angela: Hey everybody, this is my boyfriend, Senator Robert Lipton.
Robert: Hi.
Oscar: Senator, it's an honor. I'm Angela's friend Oscar.
Robert: Oscar. A pleasure.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: Robert seems great. He's very handsome, firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor.

Pam: Very funny, everyone. Who wrote captions under my doodle? I'm not even kidding. They're pretty good.
Oscar: Which one in particular?
Andy: Yeah, which one?
Pam: Well the first one has a surprise factor. "I'm a suck suck-suckity Sabre!"
Andy: Boo-yeah! [office laughs]
Gabe: No, no. No, no, no.
Pam: But, ah, I suppose the second one is the better written line.
Oscar: You suppose?
Darryl: What's it say?
Oscar: "I'm supposed to be wearing red gloves but my color cartridge portal got jammed again."

Oscar: Michael is leaving. And apparently they already hired a new manager. And we're meeting him today. It's a lot to process. Paperwork wise.

Oscar: My God. There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. Why would they do that?

Jim: So, uh, who's gonna take the dog?
Oscar: Why would we take the dog?
Jim: What if he jumps out the window and runs away?
Oscar: Jim, he's not gonna star- [Dog lunges for the open window]
Meredith: Whoa!
Oscar: Shh! Shh! Stay there, stay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Nein. Sit. Gut.
Jim: Oscar, what do you wanna do, this is kinda your deal. You wanna dog?
Oscar: [Oscar pokes holes in cardboard now taped over window] There we go. That should do it.

Oscar: What really interests me is the group dynamic of six people winning the lottery. This will not end well. Right?
Phyllis: Yeah.
Meredith: We're lookin' at at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.
Oscar: At least.

Erin: I would like another alcohol.
Robert: Let's you and I take a walk. Oscar, you're in charge of the bar.
Oscar: What? I haven't bar tended in forever. Oh, never considered myself a mixologist. Oh this is daunting. Um, I need a mortar, pestle, muddler. Does anyone have any chocolate shavings?

Oscar: Honestly, I can return this for a larger size.
Angela: It's fine. Pajamas aren't supposed to be baggy, right? It's not the barrio.
Oscar: The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate.

Oscar: Exactly. That's just like crate training. All night long, all night long.
Pam: Well count yourself lucky. Wait until you have two. That's two sleep schedules, two naps that don't coincide, I mean, you'll never sleep again.
[aside to camera:]
Angela: No one said "you must have two"
Oscar: Like her genes are so important. The world just needs more Pam/Jim DNA. Thank you, no.
Angela: No, thank you.