Erin: Growing up in an orphanage, you have to fight other kids. For everything. Snacks, pillows, parents. I'm kinda worried about Pete seeing that side of me. I once ripped greedy Susan's pigtail right off her head. Just for a handful of Crispix.

Erin: How did today go, by the way? Did you make any sales?
Pam: No. It was a total waste of time. Um. It was fun, though, because I got to spend the day with Andy Bernard. He's really cool.
Erin: Yeah, he is!
Pam: Yeah, he is.
Erin: He's, like, the coolest person I've ever met.
Pam: That's... right. He's like Marlon Brando.
Erin: Oh. Do you mean Marlon Wayans? 'Cause he is.
Pam: I actually do mean Marlon Wayans. Yeah.

Erin: Disposable cameras are fun. Although it does seem wasteful and you don't ever get to see your pictures. If it's an important even that you want to remember, I recommend using a real camera. But I don't care if I forget today.

Nellie: Have you seen Darryl?
Erin: He's around here somewhere.
Nellie: Mmm. [exits]
[aside to camera:]
Erin: Yeah, Darryl's here. So is Santa Claus. It's just a regular Thursday. Neither guy is here. And, it's Friday. Welcome to me and Darryl's world of lies. Nobody knows it yet, but Darryl already started working in Philly. So now, he has to sneak out of here like the sneakiest little sneaky-sneak you ever saw. And I'm his helper. It's so fun.

Joan: I have a question for Erin.
Erin: Really?
Joan: Yes. Um, the thing I found most compelling about the documentary was your search for your birth mother.
Erin: Thank you.
Joan: So my question is, um, do... Don't you hate her? I mean, I would just imagine that you were so angry at her that you would hate her.
Erin: Maybe sometimes. But not like hate hate. More just like, "Mom, I hate you!" And then she would say "Go to your room, young lady." And I'd stamp my foot and run upstairs and I have a room, which is really cool. And then we'd just have dinner together. But I don't know. I'd have to meet her. Thanks.
Joan: Erin...
Erin: Yes?
Joan: Um... Oh, Erin..
Erin: Yes? Is there a follow-up question? [eventually realizes] Mom? [Erin walks to Joan, they hug]
Ed: Erin? Same question but about your dad. [they hug]

Erin: I really wanted to see Andy's play, because he's so, so talented. But I've been trying to get in the babysitting game forever. The thirteen-year-olds in this town have a complete monopoly. It's almost like a babysitters club.

Erin: I guess Andy isn't totally over his current girlfriend. But, if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive, and I believe him.

Erin: Can you help me? I'm trying to make a video chat with Andy.
Irene: Just open the program and type in his username.
Erin: Can you just do it?
Irene: [after briefly typing] Here, type in your password.
Erin: 'Erin123'
Irene: That's a terrible password. And you don't "make a video chat", you video chat.
Erin: All right.

Angela: [As Erin sneezes at her desk] Hey! Are you sick?
Erin: Oh, no I'm fine, I just have a little indigestion.
Angela: In your nose?
Erin: Yes.
[aside to camera:]
Erin: I'm a little sick but I don't want to miss my date with Andy. I'll get better. Whenever I'm sick it goes away within a few hours. Except once, when I was in the hospital from age three to six.

Erin: And then my last job was at a Taco Bell express. But then it became a full Taco Bell, and I don't know, I couldn't keep up. My favorite part about being a receptionist is that I get to have my own desk. In my foster home I never had a desk. So it's like... I don't mean that I didn't like my foster home. I did like it. I just didn't have a desk there. Did you have a favorite age? Or month?
Michael Scott: An age or month?
Erin: Yeah, like a favorite month. Like I like April when I was seven.