Phyllis: If Dwight's not coming back, does that mean we can open his treasure?
Oscar: You guys, we've gone over this, there is no treasure.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: When the team left for Tallahassee, Dwight told everyone not to touch his treasure. Obviously he wants us to obsess about it. There's nothing in there. Which is obviously what he would want us to think, making it the perfect place to hide a treasure. Oh god, I'm Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride.

Darryl: Would you like to buy some cookies?
Kevin: Cookies, eh?
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: [rapping] Oh, the springtime thinks that it's the best. And fall time thinks that it's the best. Cold time has, kind of a strut. And Valentine's thinks that it's the best. But gather round, peeps, I'll tell you the truth. Nothing beats the cookie season, that's the truth.

Andy: Everyone stop what you're doing, I have terrible news. Dwight is no longer with us.
Angela: What?
Andy: He's gone, damn it! He's been promoted to VP of Sabre Retail and he's staying in Florida forever.
Angela: So, he's alive.
Andy: Yeah. That was him on the phone. He sounds wonderful.
Angela: Well, the way you said it made it sound like he was dead.
Andy: How could I have been more clear? He had a massive stroke... of good fortune and he is now in a better place.