Pam: I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so.

Pam: I got Erin a new computer, because the one at reception sucked. I should know. And I don't wanna say the other one was old, but its I.P. number was one! [laughs cautiously] Right?

Jim: Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, just before you walked me over to my desk?
Pam: Yeah. "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk-mate Dwight."
Jim: And that's when I knew. You?
Pam: You came up to my desk and you said, "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired."
Jim: That was the moment that you knew you liked me?
Pam: Yep.
Jim: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Pam: Nope.

Pam: Here's what we think happened. Michael's sidekick, who all through the movie, is this complete idiot who's causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named Dwight, but then Michael changed it to Samuel L. Chang using a search and replace. But that doesn't work on misspelled words, leaving behind one "Dwigt." And Dwight figured it out. Oops!

Pam: [on the phone] About 10 minutes ago. No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. I don't know, Mom, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am. [Jim walks in] Um, I have to go. I will. Listen, Jim...
[Jim kisses Pam. As he does so, she moves closer and holds her hands around his face.]

Jim: I can't believe this place is real. I'd heard about his beet farm for years, but I never thought-
Pam: The Beets Motel.
Jim: The Beets Motel? That is- Wow.
Pam: Thank you.

Pam: That was weird, huh? It's all part of the presentation. It was confusing, right? Because confusing situations happen to us all the time in our jobs. I'm just trying to bridge the gap between what just happened, and the fact that I'm going to be doing the rest of the presentation. [as Forrest Gump] Sales is like a box of chocolates. You never know which vendor you're gonna get. Forrest Gump.

Phone Salesman: Hi.
Pam: Good morning, can I help you?
Phone Salesman: Yes, I'm from Techstar about a new phone system for you. I was wondering if I could talk to Michael Scott.
Pam: I'm sorry, he's not in right now.
Phone Salesman: Really? He's never around when I come by.
Pam: Shoot.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting, basically 95% of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. ... Vending machine.

Pam: I can tell Michael's mood by which comedy routine he chooses to do. The more infantile, the more upset he is. And he just skipped the Ace Ventura talking butt thing. He never skips it. This is bad.

Pam: "Macushla." He's watching Million Dollar Baby. He's gonna try to kill me.