Pete: Nicely done. Very nicely done. All right, this next one goes to Darryl for pocket dialing a customer while having sex.
Nellie: Oh, you salty dog.
Darryl: Well, yeah, what can I say, a player's gotta play.
Pete: There you go.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: Actually, that was the sound of me eating spaghetti. But I'm gonna let them think the other thing.

Michael Scott: Why are you here?
Dwight K. Schrute: When Darryl was coming, you said you wanted me here for protection.
Michael Scott: Not. I said, not that.
Darryl: We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen.
Michael Scott: That's ironic.
Darryl: What?
Michael Scott: That you are afraid.
Darryl: Why? 'Cause I'm from the hood?
Michael Scott: Dinkin flicka.
Darryl: Dinkin flicka.

Darryl: [on the phone] Yes, there used to be a paper clip that would pop up and say "Looks like you are writing a letter or resume. Would you like help?" I believe his name was... Clippy.

Darryl: I just think you're going into this a little fast.
Andy: I'm 38, Darryl, how much slower should I go?
Darryl: Show business is cold. Let's say you get a job, which you probably won't. They're not gonna cut you any slack. You're meant for a job with lots and lots of slack.

Luke: Coffee Monkey's arrived.
Oscar: The coffee's supposed to be here at 9.
Luke: Here you go, Big O. Tiny. [hands Kevin his coffee] Darryl Hannah.
Darryl: It says decaf. You get me decaf?
Luke: Ooh, yeah. Must've been some sort of mix-up there. You could just drink it, or I could drive all the way back?
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: My summer, I, um, blew out my knee playing softball. Ended up watching CNN most of the time. I don't know how we're going to get out of Afghanistan. I hate the new assistant. He's only been here for a week, and I hate him.

Oscar: Hi. We'd like a couples discount on a pair of foot massages.
Manager: No. No discount for two men. Two men are not a couple.
Oscar: We are together. Romantically.
Manager: Two men? [speaks to nail technician in Korean, both laugh; shows index fingers bumping together] Doesn't work. No discount.
Darryl: Oh, it works. Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. More love than your small mind can comprehend. And we have two disposable incomes and no kids. And we're taking our business elsewhere. [Oscar and Darryl walk out holding hands]

Darryl: Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Andy: Alright, who's next? Darryl?
Darryl: This seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do.

Darryl: I feel good today. My little girl, Jada, it's my turn to have her for Christmas this year. Two years ago, I had her and we had the best time. I Tivo'd her favorite shows, some things I've never heard of. iCarly... You know who's funny on that show? The friend with the video camera. He's got a nice way of talking.

Darryl: I think if I had parents like that I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was, too.
Oscar: Guess we found Andy's rosebud.
Darryl: Rosebud?
Oscar: It's a reference to Citizen Kane. Something that explains why a person became the way they are.
Darryl: I know Citizen Kane. Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was. It just represented what was important to him as a child, that he missed.
Oscar: Different school of thought. Let's just agree to disagree.
Darryl: No, you're wrong.