Darryl: Everyday when I came into work, all I wanted to do was leave. So why in the world does it feel so hard to leave right now?

Darryl: I was rushing to fill an order. I put the ladder up to grab a box of three-hole from the top shelf. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground, ladder's on top of me.
Toby: And that's how you broke your ankle?
Darryl: Yes.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hmm. Interesting. How did the ladder end up on top of you if you fell off of it?
Darryl: This doesn't concern you, man. You need to walk away.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, really? I'm sorry. I thought this was a free country. I didn't know we were in communist Sweden.
Darryl: If we were living in Sweden, I wouldn't have to worry about this because we'd have universal health care.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's not- Okay-
Darryl: Be quiet.

Oscar: You know what we haven't done in a while? Happy hour. Upstairs, the warehouse, everybody just going out for a drink.
Darryl: Has that ever happened? Ever?
Oscar: Didn't we? I think we did.
Darryl: You want me to invite Matt?
Oscar: Yeah, the whole gang, Matt included.
Darryl: Look, just be straight with me, man. You can be gay with Matt, just be straight with me.

Darryl: Tell 'em your story, Hide.
Hide: In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

Darryl: Is it any particular branch of Washington University?
Ryan: The Washington University Public Health Fund.
Darryl: W.U.P.H.F.
Pam: Oh, God!
Darryl: They only want it for the initials.
Ryan: The domain name. Yeah, they do.

Darryl: I gave up a lot of weekends because I thought it'd be good for my daughter to see a black man as president. Even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time.

Stanley: Good morning.
Darryl: Good morning.
Phyllis: Good morning.
Darryl: Good morning.
Phyllis: Did you have a nice drive in?
Darryl: I did.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: I have a solid relationship with Jo, the company's owner. I have management experience. I have a good friendship with Jim, the head of the Search Committee, and it doesn't hurt that I'm... [in sing-song voice] bla-aaack!

Darryl: Let me get this straight. You lost all of it. All your winnings. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Hide: Bad economy. Bad investment.
Darryl: You mean to tell me no one wanted an energy drink for Asian homosexuals?
Calvin: They did not.
Darryl: And you got half a million of these? Well I gotta try it.
Calvin: I wouldn't.
Darryl: Aw, come on. What's the harm? [makes face] Mmm. What flavor was that?
Hide: Coconut penis.
Darryl: The coconut's pretty subtle.

Darryl: Damn! Jim, you got a real Facebook energy going on here man. You Zuckerberged this place out!

Darryl: [playing keyboard and singing] Out of paper Out of stock There's friendly faces around the block Break loose from the chains that are causing your pain [Creed, Andy, Kevin and Kelly join in] Call Michael or Stanley Jim, Dwight, or Creed. Call Andy and Kelly for your business paper needs Dunder Mifflin the people person's paper people Dunder Mifflin the people person's paper people