Creed: There's a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. I'll probably give the money to them.

Creed: [about Holly Flax] She's one sassy black lady.

Dwight K. Schrute: [while getting steamed] Break protocol! Break protocol! Break protocol!
Creed: [carrying in clothes on hangers] Oh, I'm saving a fortune on dry cleaning.

Ryan: Creed, did you organize the menu book?
Creed: Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.
Ryan: No. That was mandatory.
Creed: Oh, I thought that was a volunteer thing.

Creed: Who do you think did it?
Oscar: Are you kidding? I thought it was you.
Creed: Really? I thought you.

Michael Scott: Do you remember Ed Truck?
Creed: Sure. He hired me. How's he doing?
Michael Scott: How would I know?
Creed: I thought you might.
Michael Scott: My biggest fear is turning into him.
Creed: Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that.
Michael Scott: I wasn't talking literally, Creed. Yeah, being buried alive would be worse. Happy? Why am I talking to you?

Creed: Jimmy, listen to me, you do not wanna go to Amsterdam, trust me.
Jim: Where do I wanna go?
Creed: I'd send you to Hong Kong.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: I'd like to say hi to my friends in China. [speaking in Mandarin]

Creed: I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.

Creed: Baby. Hello, baby. Here, you want to play with this?
Karen: You can't give paper clips to a baby. He could swallow them.
Creed: Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of them. You like that? [cooing]

Meredith: I really want to come out!
Creed: Good night, Mary Beth!