Creed: So hey, I'm want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.

Creed: Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.

[Creed pulls into the parking lot and heads to the office]
Creed: Sorry I'm late, boss. What's going on?
Michael Scott: [accent] Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect.
Creed: Okay. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I'll be right back.
[Creed rushes out of the building, gets back in his car and drives away]

Andy: Gabe, I told you all about the printers.
Jim: I mean, it could be you, Gabe. I mean, that's the point.
Pam: Yes, it's totally obvious.
Creed: I think we all can agree that it's either Gabe or Angela. [flips a coin] It's Angela. Get her, boys.

Creed: [to Jordan] Get me our biggest client on the phone, right this instant. [closes his office door]
Jordan: Who is our biggest client?
Pam: Uh, just put him through to me.
Jordan: [laughs] Okay.
Pam: [answering phone] Hello! This is... the client.
Creed: It's Creed. FYI, I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps, you in?
Pam: Yes.
Creed: [chuckles] Cool. Let's keep this on the QT, okay? I uh, I don't want you to be a dead mamma jamma.
Pam: Great.
Creed: All right, thank you, bye-bye.
Pam: Thank you, bye-bye.

Andy: So, who's wish is next? Oh, what about Santa's wish? My biggest wish is that you all get along well with Jessica... C'mon guys, Jessica? Jim, tell 'em who Jessica is.
Jim: She's not your grandmother, is she?
Andy: Ugh! Gam-gam's name is Ruth, Jim, you should know. I introduced you on speakerphone that time?
Jim: Yeah.
Andy: Jessica is my super serious girlfriend, who is seriously awesome and seriously sexy. Only thing that's not serious, by the way? Our repartee.
Creed: That's great. When you know you know. Hey, what's Ruth's deal, man?
Andy: So totally out of your league.

Nellie: This meeting is not about any one person in particular. It is a human problem.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's not just a human problem. Flounders frequently experience impotence, especially when converting from male to female and then back again to male.
Robert: Really?
Oscar: Nellie, does the person affected by this want us to help her in any way in particular?
Nellie: Oh, oh, it's not me. No, no. I've never had any problem in that arena. And I have been with several older men.
Robert & Creed: [in unison] How old?
Creed: Jinx. Buy me some Coke.

Nellie: Get excited. The special projects fairy has arrived.
Creed: I know you don't really exist.

Creed: Hey, grab a seat. We have that table and that table, but not that table or that table or that table. Floor's up for grabs. Meredith has been hogging the can. [Dwight kisses Creed's head] Oh!

Dakota: Hi, I'm Dakota.
Creed: Jeff Bomondo. I sell ceramic tile out of Newark.
Dakota: Nice.
Creed: My wife's name is Kathryn. I can show you my social security card if it helps.