Andy: I mean, we actually all really wanna thank you, for everything.
Darryl: [starts playing the tune to Seasons of Love while Andy sits down]
Michael Scott: Oh my God, something's happening.
Andy: [singing] Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! We actually sat down, and did the math.
All: Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's how many minutes, that you've worked here.
Pam: In costumes!
Jim: And impressions!
Toby: In meetings.
Erin and Kelly: And cups of coffee.
Kevin: For birthdays!
Stanley: More meetings and-
Erin & Angela: E-mail forms you made us read.
All: Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's like watching Die Hard, eighty thousand times!
Meredith: You hit me with your car!
Ryan: You helped me get off drugs!
Creed: I watch you when you sleep.
Oscar: I forgive you for kissing me!
All: Remember to call.
Darryl: You've got to remember to call.
All: Remember to call.
Andy: Love is a gift from up above.
All: Remember to call.
Kelly and Erin: Text or call or e-mail or call.
DeAngelo: Measure... Measure your life in love!
All: Remember to call.
DeAngelo: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All: Remember to call.
DeAngelo: Yeah, yeah. You've got to remember to call.
All: Remember to call.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: [choked up] Yeah, okay. [pauses, then takes a deep breath] Well this is gonna hurt like a mother[bleep].

Michael Scott: You must be Andy Bernard. Aloha and welcome!
Andy: And you must be Michael Scott. Aloha and hello.
Michael Scott: [laughs] Very good. Welcome to our little kingdom. We have a bag of nifty gifties for you.
Andy: Well, Michael, thank you for welcoming me to your little kingdom. Mike. Nifty! They are nifty!
Michael Scott: They're nifty gifties.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: You know who I really like is this guy Andy Bernard. He has got this very likeable way about him.

Andy: So Michael had a little chat with corporate and they decided to send me to management training. Anger management, technically, but still, management material. This whole thing's supposed to take ten weeks. I expect to be done in five. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and positive reinforcement through nods and smiles. So don't worry about old Andy Bernard. I'll be back. Just like Rambo.

Andy: [answering phone] Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. [answering a second phone] Hello? Hang on.
[singing to Angela, guys on phone join in] If you change your mind I'll be first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me If you need me let me know Gonna be around If you got no place to go If you're feeling down If you're all alone When the pretty birds have flown Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best And that ain't no lie If you put me to the test If you let me try Take a chance on me. That's all I ask of you, Angela. Take a chance on me.

Andy: Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.

Andy: Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they're unfair.

Andy: [whistling] Well, I thought I'd come in casual today. Man, I'm hungry. Anyone else feel like a beet?
Dwight K. Schrute: Where did you get those?
Andy: What, these? Bernard Farms. Best beets in the state.
Dwight K. Schrute: I see what you are doing. But I do not know where you are going with this.
Andy: You will. As soon as you visit my new beet farm. [bites into a beet] Ah. You're supposed to cook these, aren't you?
Dwight K. Schrute: [chuckles] Cornell. [bites into a beet]

Andy: I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed and breakfast on a 60-acre beet farm. And even better, I have an in with the owner. Oh, yeah, we work together. It's Dwight Schrute. As in Schrute Farms.

Andy: You give up?
Dwight K. Schrute: Never! Get out and face me like a man!
Andy: I am a man. I'm a bigger man than you'll ever be! I would never sleep with another man's fiancee!
Dwight K. Schrute: You're not a man! You don't know how to take care of her! All you do is dress fancy and sing! [gibberish singing] What does that mean? You can't even protect her!
Andy: Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?
Dwight K. Schrute: Last year, idiot!

Andy: [singing and playing the guitar] What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss, you're the laziest, jerkiest and you're dumber than applesauce. We're stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, heeey, well it's true. That's what I hate about you. That's what I hate about you. Yeah. And now, a man that deserves no introduction, Michael Scott.