Michael Scott: Hey, Ryan, could you get to that copy from before?
Ryan: Pam's better at that stuff
Pam: That is so insulting.
Ryan: How is it insulting to say that you're good at something?
Pam: Because the thing you're saying I'm good at, is pushing a big green button a bunch of times.
Ryan: I'm not judging it, it's like ... I could run GM but I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying one is better than the other.
Pam: Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.

Ryan: WUPHF T-Shirts. Who wants one? Just imagine that you're at spring break, Daytona Beach.
Michael Scott: Here we go.
Ryan: Okay, everyone's like, "Hey Dude, whats up with all the hotties in the WUPHF shirts?" Or, Uh, "Hey, what's up with that helicopter? It's Ry from WUPHF!"
Michael Scott: "It's Ryan the WUPHF guy!"
Ryan: "Yo, Ry from WUPHF!"
Michael Scott: "He's up there."
Ryan: "What's he dropping?! Wow, what's falling on us, man?!" WUPHF condoms! 50,000 condoms out of the sky!
Michael Scott: Look at that! He threw 'em on the ground!
Darryl: Look, this is a marketing campaign. You got nine days. Let's say you do get the money. What are you going to do with it?
Ryan: The first lesson of Silicon Valley, actually, is that you only think about the user, the experience. You actually don't think about the money. Ever.

Oscar: What? Ryan, where did you get this picture?
[aside to camera:]
Ryan: My mom also makes the best salsa.

Holly: Okay, look. We can't fire someone because we don't like him.
Ryan: Right, this isn't the U.S. Government.
Kelly: What are you referencing?
Ryan: Uh, everything... Everything.

[Ryan is interview with his feet up on a desk in a large, corner office]
Ryan: Yeah, I created a website. Look. At the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company. And I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest.
Thomas Dean: [o.s.] I told you I don't want you doing these things. You can use your own office or do it in the hall.
[Ryan continues in a smaller office:]
Ryan: Convergence, viral marketing. We're going guerrilla. We're taking it to the streets while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. In other words, it is what it is. Buying paper just became fun.

Ryan: For all their generosity of spirit, they password-protect their wireless?
Kelly: Try "Jesus."
Dwight K. Schrute: Opus dei.

Kelly: Wait, that's crazy far. Are you sure she's not cheating?
Michael Scott: You know what, Kelly? This is the real world. Not The Real World: Scranton.
Kelly: Oh my God, this is super weird. When Ryan had two girlfriends, he used to take me to some diner in Hazelton just so the other girl wouldn't see.
Ryan: Some diner?! It was the Starlight Diner! It's in a LIFE magazine spread about Americana.

Michael Scott: Look at that. Triple your investment by January.
Andy: Anyone can just throw numbers up on a chart. What are you doing to make it happen?
Ryan: Well, earlier today, I was emailing someone by the name of John Legend.
Michael Scott: There you go.
Andy: You have his email?
Ryan: A lot of these guys are just Mac.com, @ their website, whatever. We get that guy WUPHFing, it's all over.

Ryan: You have two young dynamic people in this office who know trends, who know youth. That's myself and Kelly Kapoor, you need one of us there.
Andy: Or both?
Ryan: Not both. Just one, me. Or if not me, Kelly. Ideally me. Again, youth knowledge. That's what you get when you put Ryan Howard on your special project team... or Kelly Kapoor. Again, not both. Thanks.

Ryan: Anybody can be Prince Charming one day a year with the dinner and the flowers and all that. But you know what impresses me? When a guy can do that no days a year.