DeAngelo: Every day, millions of Americans suffer from extreme repulsiveness. Someone in our midst, is bringing that problem to light. Toby Flenderson, please come up here and accept the Extreme Repulsiveness Award. Oh, that's so mean!
Michael Scott: No, it's not.
Oscar: It's his last Dundies.
Jim: You gotta play along, man.
Oscar: Come on, Toby.
Michael Scott: Here he comes. Alright, you deserve it!
Toby: I really disagree with this. I think it's kind of hateful. Though I am a little happy right now to have a platform to talk about the outcome of a case that I was recently a juror on: The Scranton Strangler. A man's being put to death. I was part of the verdict, and I'm not so sure he's guilty any more.

Merv: You guys pay for relocation, though, right?
Toby: Well, why would you need relocation, if you already live in Scranton?
Merv: Well, I'd want to move further away, you know? Just... I don't want any chance to run into my co-workers outside the office.
Jim: Can I ask why you're leaving your current job?
Merv: [opens his briefcase, takes out a tupperware container] I'm leaving my other job because they were all jerks, really. [opens tupperware] You know, all of 'em. You had your jerk-wads, and your jerk-offs, so, just between the wads and the offs, I just... I had to get outta there. [begins eating sandwich]
Jim: Is this a bad time to be doing this?
Merv: I'm having a bad time. [chuckles]
Toby: I'm sorry, if we did something to upset you, I'm sure it was inadvertent.
Merv: [slowly chews, then looks confused] ... Wait.
[aside to camera:]
Merv: Oh, why did I believe that weirdo in the lobby? These are the nicest people I ever met.

Toby: Every Halloween I tell him the same thing: You can't bring weapons into the office, and every year he says the same thing. As soon as I get my weapons back I'm gonna kill you. But there I am at Thanksgiving, alive, you know. I'm a lucky turkey.

Oscar: Holy cow!
Robert: Wine collection.
Oscar: How many bottles? Three hundred?
Robert: [laughs] About twelve hundred. What the hell, grab a bottle. Less inventory for the lawyers.
Oscar: Toby! Chateau Margaux '95. You know your wine.
Toby: Well, and you have a... Yes, a... Another chateau.

Toby: It has been a long, lonely winter.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wow. Seasonal effective disorder, A.K.A. sad. That sounds like a very real thing, Toby.
Toby: It is real. Thank you for saying that.
Andy: Yeah, wow. It's almost like we're not all experiencing the same winter?

Toby: [to Andy] Knock, knock. Hey, Sasha's first year in the troops, so I'm selling cookies for her. Anyway, would you like some?
Darryl: No. No.
Toby: What?
Darryl: I been selling here for five years. This is my spot.
Toby: You can't claim territories. This is the only place I interact with people. Can't you sell at your church or barber shop? Or chess club, or?

Robert: Andy, why don't you tell us about the best erection of your life? Or does anyone else have any remarkable erections they'd like to share? [Creed, Kevin and Meredith raise their hands]
Kevin: Ooh, ooh!
Jim: Wow, what are we talking about?
Erin: Toby, doesn't HR have some rules against talking about this kind of stuff?
Toby: Erin, HR is a joke. I can't do anything about anything.

Clark: Hey, uh, does anybody know where we throw these out?
Stanley: Oh, my god. It's called a garbage can.
Phyllis: Helpless.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: There's two new guys back there with me now. They're in their 20s. And we really get along. Just three single guys. Getting into trouble.

Darryl: Damn! It just keeps on coming, huh?
Toby: I have very fertile hair glands.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: I am so glad I got all of the dudes to do Movember. We have the dopest time back in the annex. We even go to lunch, pick up babes.

Toby: [to passing female pedestrian] Smile if you love men's prostates.