Nellie: Put your forehead near mine, and see if you can read my thoughts.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay... Seven, one, one, nine.
Nellie: No, no, no. Not numbers, no.
Dwight K. Schrute: No? Okay.
Nellie: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Try again... Ugh, I'm still getting numbers! Seven, one, one... Is anyone around here thinking the numbers seven one one? 'cause please stop, okay?
Nellie: Dwight, give me a key card to your room. Meet me in seven minutes for some one-on-one time.
Dwight K. Schrute: [gasps] Wait, the numbers!
Nellie: Mm-hmm.

Nellie: Ah. In England, they put the holes a little bit to the right, you see. We'll just chalk it up to cultural bias.

Nellie: So, Phyllis, I have been very impressed with you.
Phyllis: Really?
Nellie: Oh, yeah. The way you conquered your fear and came in here, and now the way you sit there... all very impressive.

Nellie: Jim, time for your review.
Jim: No, it's not, because you don't really work here.
Nellie: Why are you so staunchly defending your friend, who has abandoned you? Wouldn't you rather come talk with me? Maybe definitely get a raise?
Jim: Yeah, that's the thing. I don't know if you can even give raises.
Nellie: Jim, have you ever heard of a character named Tinkerbell?
Jim: Yes.
Nellie: I'm Tinkerbell.
Jim: No.
Nellie: Mm-hm. I'm a magical fairy who floated into your office to bring a little bit of magic into your lives, to give you all raises.
Stanley: And we are grateful.
Nellie: But here's the thing about Tinkerbell, Jim. Everyone has to believe in her or she doesn't exist.
Jim: She dies.
Nellie: She dies!

Nellie: Look, Jim, Dwight, please, don't tell anyone about this.
Jim: No, no. Of course. Just one quick question. Was this um, Halloween, or...
Nellie: God, no. That's the most embarrassing thing of all this. What kind of fool gets her heart broken by bloody stage magician?

Nellie: Yes?
Andy: Whoa. Well, you must be the famous Nellie Bertram I've been hearing all about. I am the famous Andy Bernard you've been hearing all about.
Nellie: Oh, yes.
Andy: I just want to thank you for jumping in and minding the store during my temporary absence.
Nellie: You are most welcome.
Andy: Anyway, now that I'm back, I would love to have my office back, whenever you get a chance.
Nellie: No.
Andy: Obviously, we'll figure out the, uh, logistics of moving all this stuff out of here. But, you know, the sooner the better.
Nellie: Mm-hmm.
Andy: Get back to normalcy.
Nellie: Hmm, no.

Nellie: I'm gonna count down from five and if you are not out of my office, I'm going to dock your pay one hundred dollars.
Andy: [chuckling] Okay.
Nellie: Five... four...
Andy: You can't dock my pay-
Nellie: Angela! Dock Andy's pay one hundred dollars.
Angela: On it!
Andy: Great. Five, four, three, two, one. Angela, please dock Nellie's pay a hundred dollars. Angela?
Nellie: Do you want to go again?
Andy: Angela?
Nellie: Let's go again. Five... four...
Andy: Ooh, she's counting again.
Nellie: Three... two... one...
Andy: Oh, oh!
Nellie: Angela, two hundred dollars!
Angela: You got it.
Andy: Seriously, Angela?

Darryl: I need you to sign these, we got a shipment going out.
Nellie: How are things in the warehouse?
Darryl: You could go downstairs and ask them?
Nellie: The warehouse isn't downstairs? [laughs.] Is it? Is it?
Darryl: Who knew, right?

Nellie: It's just that I am taking my driver's license test in two days, and I need to practice with an experienced driver in the car. But I've had no time to do that, thanks to "Demandy"... I just want to hit the open road and drive, man! But in whose car?
Andy: Nellie! Get your wrinkly old balls in here.

Pam: You know, I really do think it would be worth it to pull over and just take ten minutes to eat.
Nellie: Mmm. The thing is Pam, I'm gonna be eating while I'm driving, so, I might as well get good at it.
Pam: Brake lights. Brake lights! Brake lights! Brake lights!