Pam: So what did you want to show me?
Nellie: That is quite an ugly wall, isn't it?
Pam: Yeah. It's really ugly
Nellie: Needs something, doesn't it? I'm thinking... a mural.
Pam: You mean me?
Nellie: Yes, you! You are so talented. It's going to be my next special project. Hiring Scranton's most dangerous young muralist to paint the warehouse wall.

Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey. Can I talk you? For a second?
Nellie: Anything you have to say to her, you can say to me. She never loved you!
Pam: What? No! I- I got this. [laughs] Okay?
Nellie: [quietly] This is his fault. It is not your fault. I'm gonna find you someone better, and rich.
[aside to camera:]
Nellie: And Filipino. But we'll break that to her later.

Nellie: Everyone, it is our last day here with no manager. I say we go to the mini mall. Clark, you will be my fake boyfriend so I can get the discount.
Clark: It's what I do.

Stanley: Maybe we should eat the cupcakes. Haven't we done enough to Packer? I mean, we sent him down to Florida on a prank. [to Nellie] And you did fire him.
Nellie: I did. I did, yes. And it was purely political. He did nothing wrong.

Andy: [on video camera] Hey! TexasPoonTappa and JasonJasonJason and all the rest of you haters out there! Check this out. [plays banjo; screen types out "you suck my nutz" from TexasPoonTappa, camera zooms out to reveal Nellie]
Nellie: Good night, Andy.
Andy: Huh? Yeah, see ya. [sees comment] Oh! What?! [starts crying]

Pam: [on the phone] Well, we won't be late. I love you, mom. Thanks.
Nellie: Oh, your mom's watching the kids tonight. So what are you two up to? [chuckles] Oh, um, Embassy Suites. "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. Mommy and Daddy are on the floor.
Pam: [laughs] I wish.
Nellie: [chuckles] What, then?
Pam: Oh, nothing that exciting.

Nellie: Marriage counseling?
Pam: Hmm.
Nellie: Did you know that is the only kind of counseling I have never had?
Pam: You know, Jim's kind of nervous about it, but I think it could really help.
Nellie: Mmm.
Pam: I mean, we've having issues. It can't hurt to talk about them, right?

Nellie: It is time for a little T & A. I give you Toby and Angela.

Nellie: What is the delay here? Where's Ryan? Why is he not here?
Dwight K. Schrute: I had to send him home. As brilliant and creative as he is, he is nothing... compared to this guy!
Jim: Uh...
Nellie: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's right. Will you just give us a second?
Nellie: You are gonna bloody ruin it. You're gonna bloody ruin it because you're a no-good half-assed cock-eyed...