Michael Scott: You know what? Hunter was a terrible assistant. That's probably why Ryan fired him.
Jan: Well, he's probably just as reliable as Pam, being that it usually takes you an afternoon to get back to me.
Angela: Sometimes I think she holds on to faxes.

Jan: Babe, can you just, like, really- You're just, like, really-
Michael Scott: What? What?
Jan: Could you just simmer down?
Michael Scott: I'm just making people laugh.
Jan: No.
Michael Scott: Yes, I was watching Jim's face.
Jan: I was watching Jim.
Michael Scott: And he was laughing.
Jan: No smile.
Michael Scott: Look at him. He's laughing.

Jan: Michael. Sometimes a manager like yourself has to deliver the bad new to the employees. I do it all the time.
Michael Scott: Yeah, when have you ever done that?
Jan: I'm doing it right now. To you.

Michael Scott: I just want to know, from the horse's mouth, what is the dealio?
Jim: You know, Michael-
Michael Scott: Am I too short?
Jim: Michael, it has nothing to do with your looks, okay? It's your personality. I mean, you're obnoxious, and rude, and stupid, and you do have coffee breath, by the way. And I don't agree about the B.O., but you are very, very inconsiderate.
Michael Scott: Really?
Jan: Really. You're- You're a great guy, okay?
Michael Scott: I appreciate that, thank you.
Jan: And you were very sweet. And you stayed up with me and talked to me and cried with me, and I appreciate that.
Michael Scott: No, I didn't. I was- I don't cry.
Jan: But I just am not in a place right now where I'm looking for a relationship. So, we can still work together, we can still be friends, but... Okay?

Jan: Ladies, I am so, so sorry. Can we start again? We were on such a roll. I really apologize-
Pam: Jan?
Jan: -for that. Yes, Pam?
Pam: Michael's still at the door.
Jan: Michael!

Jan: I'll be honest. One of the goals of these women's seminars is to feel out if there's any standouts, women who could be a valuable addition to our corporate life. [silence]

Jan: And, Pam? What about you? What is your dream?
Pam: Well, I always dreamed of a house with a terrace upstairs. Plant flowers on it, stuff like that. Since I was a girl. Um. More seriously, though, a husband that I love. Roy. And I love to draw. And I did a little in college, and I'd still love to do something where I could work with art or graphic design in some way.
Phyllis: She's real good.
Pam: Thanks.
Jan: You know, the company is offering a design training program in New York.
Pam: Well, I have a job right now. So, I can't really take time off.
Jan: Well, it's only on weekends. And then a few weeks in New York, but I'm sure that I could ask Corporate to help you out.
Pam: Well, it's just that the weekends aren't good because-
Jan: There are always a million reasons not to do something.

Michael Scott: Okay. Come on, Jan. After all we've been through-
Jan: Michael, Michael.
Michael Scott: We have a history. We have a history between us.
Jan: Michael. Don't say another word. Get yourself downstairs.
Michael Scott: I'm just saying that we have something. Okay. Whatever.

Jan: What have you generated, Michael?
Michael Scott: I have generated a lot of interest in my party this evening.
Jan: What party?
Michael Scott: The party I'm having tonight in 308, obviously, you are invited.
Jan: Michael, Jim and Josh are in meetings all day, and I am in and out of meetings. I I can't stay on top of you 24/7.
[Michael snickers]

Jan: Hi, Pam.
Pam: Hi.
Jan: I'm great. So, Pam, I'd like you to keep a log of everything Michael does, hour-by-hour, so that we can analyze it at corporate, okay?
Pam: Oh, I don't know if I'm-
Jan: Thanks, Pam.