[individually, to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: We have a bat in the office.
Toby: Simple solution would be to open a window, if we had windows that could open.
Angela: Poop is raining from the ceilings. Poop.

Kevin: Man, I cannot believe I missed the fight.
Oscar: It was crazy.
Angela: You saw it? Describe it, please.
Oscar: Well, I heard some shouting, and I look over and Roy's by reception, and you could just tell he's gonna punch somebody. Jim says something, Roy stomps over there, all of a sudden, bam, Roy goes down and Dwight's standing there like an action hero.
Angela: Oh.
Oscar: It was insane.
Angela: Well, good for Dwight.

Michael Scott: Don't worry. Kelly will be training you first.
Angela: Kelly's training us?
[later, individually to camera:]
Kelly: This day is bananas B- A-N-A-N-A-S This day is bananas B- A-N-A-
Angela: I don't have a headache.

Kelly: Ask where he's from.
Angela: [on the phone] Where are you from? Ohio? That's nice. So what do you want? [to Kelly] He's upset about the watermark.
Kelly: Okay, great. Now, just tell him that it was an unfortunate error and we are doing everything we can do to fix it and that you're sorry.
Angela: It was an unfortunate error. We're fixing it. And you already got your money back.
Kelly: And you're sorry.
Angela: And the company has already apologized, so you can take that apology or not. [hanging up] I think he had Tourette's or something!

Dwight K. Schrute: Sabotage.
Angela: What? What are you saying? Did you say sandwich?
Dwight K. Schrute: No. I was saying that before. Not now. Now I am saying sabotage. The ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team.
Angela: I knew you were saying sabotage. I was giving you an example of it. I will misunderstand everything that Andy says until he goes insane.
Dwight K. Schrute: If Michael organizes some kind of group hug, stand next to me.

Andy: Help. Help! Angela! Angela, hey. Oh, thank God. Go tell somebody.
Angela: What, Andy? Andy, what should I tell them?
Andy: Go tell them I'm floating away, obviously.
Angela: I don't understand what you want from me.
Andy: Angela, it's pretty simple. Look at what I'm doing and go tell somebody it!
Angela: Sorry! Bye, Andy!
Andy: Angela!

Angela: Hey, D.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hey monkey, what's up?
Angela: Can you do me a favor? Go to my place and give Sprinkles her medicine?
Dwight K. Schrute: Sure.
Angela: I have to visit the alchie.
Dwight K. Schrute: Check to see if she's faking. If a car hit me, it wouldn't crack my pelvis. You know what? I bet she cracked it at home. Jumped in front of the car to get some worker's comp.
Angela: I wouldn't put it past her.
Dwight K. Schrute: So what do you need me to do?
Angela: I wrote it out. There's a diabetes shot. Roll the insulin in your hands, don't shake it. She gets an ace inhibitor with her meal. But you have to put her right in front of the dish, or she won't see it because of the cataracts. Mix one capsule of omega fatty acid in with her kidney medicine. And you wanna give that to her fifteen minutes after she's eaten. Oh, and there's a fungal cream, because she has this infection under her tail. So you're gonna have to lift her tail and put the cream right at the base of her tail.

Dwight K. Schrute: Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles?
Angela: Very much. How is your meat?
Dwight K. Schrute: Dry, delicious.
Angela: I heard a joke today.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's funny.
Angela: Yes, it was.
Dwight K. Schrute: Are you enjoying your mineral water?
Angela: I can't do this. I can't be with you. Every time I look in your eyes, I see Sprinkles' stiff, lifeless body.
Dwight K. Schrute: Then don't look in my eyes. Look right here. It's an old sales trick.
Angela: I'm sorry. I gave this everything I could.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, please don't do this, monkey.
Angela: I will leave your toothbrush on top of your tire tomorrow morning.

Dwight K. Schrute: One cardigan. One sleeping cardigan. One sleep apnea mask.
Angela: What about my cherub figurine?
Dwight K. Schrute: You took that with you.
Angela: No, I left it on my night tab- Your night table by the lamp.
Dwight K. Schrute: You are incorrect. I was recently scrubbing my room of memories and I didn't see it there.
Angela: Fine.

Angela: [to Andy] You may ask me out to dinner. Nothing fancy or foreign. No bars, no patios, no vegetables. And no seafood.