Robert: Oh, hi there.
Pam: Plants and- Hi, Robert! Hey. Um, how are you doing? Good to see you again.
Robert: Where is everyone? Where is Andy?
Kelly: Andy took some of the other people on a corporate retreat to Gettysburg.
Robert: Well, I was hoping to talk out some ideas with Andy. But what we have here... is perhaps better. By not going on the trip, you've shown you're the free-thinkers of the office.

Robert: Your heart is broken. So is mine.
Erin: And...
Robert: And what?
Erin: And you have any advice or anything?
Robert: No! [laughs] My god.
Erin: Help me feel better.
Robert: I've been married thrice and each has ended in an acrimonious divorce. I'm not sure I'm the best person to give love advice. I was hoping you were gonna make me feel better.

Robert: [banging on the window] In four seconds, my wife is going to be coming through that door. I told her she can work here. Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen.

Susan: I was thinking accounting might be a good fit because I really clicked with Oscar and I do have some experience with bookkeeping.
Andy: But, we already have a surplus of accountants as it is.
Susan: I would work in customer service. HR even.
Andy: Those are fully staffed as well.
Robert: Are you telling me that there's no one in this entire office that could use an extra pair of hands?
Andy: [laughing nervously] Yes.
Robert: I am the CEO and I am telling an employee of mine what to do.
Andy: Let me beat around the bush for a second. Our chairman of the board has some very strong feelings about-
Susan: Robert, this is very uncomfortable. Obviously, there's no place for me here. So thank you for trying. Why don't we just let it go.
Robert: No. Absolutely not. Andrew, there must be something you can do. There must be. Think.
Andy: Well, there are lots of considerations.
Robert: I would be eternally grateful. It's not a bad thing to have the CEO owe you one.
Andy: [nervous chuckle] Alright. Well then, welcome aboard.

Susan: I get it. Last time I had a job, I remember I hated the boss' wife. Of course, she was married to Robert.

Susan: Your employees don't seem to be taking to me.
Robert: Andy! Andy, could you step in here, please? We'll fix this.
Andy: [in robot voice] What is going on?
Robert: [chuckles] Please. Andrew, my wife has brought up an issue that requires your attention. So, uh, if you'll excuse me, I should step out, get to the ATM before that homeless man sets up camp for the night.

Dwight K. Schrute: Which one is it?
Gabe: I don't know. All I know is the building.
Dwight K. Schrute: Robert! Robert California! Robert!
Robert: Dwight! How nice of Gabe to show you where I live. Come around. 102.

Nellie: I got your voicemail. From- From last night.
Robert: Wonderful.
Nellie: And the answer... is yes, yes, yes, yes, and never. [leaves]
Robert: Pam, when's the last time you lived so intensely that your brain literally couldn't hold the memories in?
Pam: Oh, it was this summer–
Robert: Apparently, I left a phone message for Nellie last night, and I need you to find out what I said.
Pam: Um, I am a little busy.
Robert: Yes. Of course. Why don't you list the things that would keep you from helping me.
Pam: Yeah, I can make you a list.
Robert: Let's do it now. What's number one?
Pam: Why don't I help you now?
Robert: There we go.

Robert: I'd like to invite the following people to join me for lunch: Jim, Dwight, Angela, Darryl, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, Oscar.

Dwight K. Schrute: You know, I feel comfortable enough now to ask you this question. What made you pick this group?
Robert: I just think you guys are winners and I wanted to have lunch with you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay!
Phyllis: Well, what about the other guys?
Dwight K. Schrute: Losers.
Robert: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on.
Robert: I don't- I don't wanna say-
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on, come on.
Robert: No, no.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on.
Robert: Huh, I guess I think they're losers.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ha ha, I knew it! Ha ha! Yes! Woo!
Robert: Probably shouldn't have said that.