Pat: [on the phone] Oh, the problem is with the right burner. Burner. Burner! Oh, your dad says, "Hi." [Frankie waves] Bur-ner! Yes. The left one goes click, click, light, but the right one goes click, click, click, click, light.
Frankie: She'll call you back, Dad. [hangs up]
Pat: [scoffs] The stove people are coming today. You father has no idea what to tell them. I'm gonna have to drive back.
Frankie: No, no, no. You can't do that. I will call the stove people and reschedule the appointment. I'm sure they get cancellations all the time.
Pat: I'm sure they do from rude people. [Frankie sighs] Sweetie, our generation kept their appointments.
Frankie: Yeah, Mom, it's really not a big deal.
Pat: Yes, it is. We made a commitment to that stove guy, and we're gonna honor it.
Frankie: Mom, you're not marrying the stove guy. You're just rescheduling.

Frankie: Okay, here you go. Oh. [sniffs] Whew! I-I haven't showered in four days. I-I'm gonna have to break out the brand-name soap for this one. Listen, I'm gonna be in there for a while, so if you want me to grab you a pop, now is the time to ask.
Pat: Well, if your dad was here, I wouldn't even be able to have a pop. About five years ago, Harvey from across the street got on your dad about Aspartame. [Frankie sighs] You remember Harvey. He's the one that's got the dog that barks all night. I can never remember that dog's name.
Frankie: Yes or no on the pop, Mom?
Pat: Oh, I'm not thirsty. But when you do come out, I'd love another wet paper towel. It was a little drippy the last time, so you're gonna want to wring it.
Frankie: I'm gonna want to wring it, all right.

Frankie: Mom, what are you doing?
Pat: I had a burst of energy, and I thought I would reorganize your cabinets.
Frankie: You have vertigo. You are not even supposed to get up without supervision. You could've slipped and hit your head!
Pat: Oh, sweetie, I would never slip on these floors. They're too sticky.
Frankie: [sighs] Still, I don't need you to reorganize my cabinets. Everything is fine where it was.
Pat: Well... At least separate your beans from your soups.
Frankie: Mom, please, I have had to switch two shifts at work. I'm getting no sleep. So, at least let me put my beans where I want them.
Pat: Well, I'm sorry, honey. I didn't know you were so picky. I mean, there's no evidence around here that anybody cares where anything goes.

Pat: I feel like such a burden.
Frankie: Oh, stop it.
Pat: Well, it's not supposed to be this way, Frankie. You shouldn't be feeding me and schlepping me to the doctor... [voice breaking] and cleaning up my messes.
Frankie: Mom, really, it's fine.
Pat: [normal voice] It isn't fine! You shouldn't be doing any of this.
Frankie: Mom. It's my privilege. Don't you remember?
[flashback to Pat holding a crying baby Sue with Frankie in the living room:]
Frankie: I'm so sorry, Mom. I-I don't know why she won't stop crying. I changed her four times today.
Pat: Well, she's a baby, and babies cry.
Frankie: But I just feel like I'm failing in every way, and I haven't slept in three weeks, I'm very overwhelmed, and I just keep calling you to bail me out, and you shouldn't have to do it, Mom.
Pat: Oh...
Frankie: You shouldn't have to.
Pat: It's my privilege. Okay. Axl, I'm-a coming!
[present:]
Frankie: I love you, Mom.
Pat: [voice breaking] I love you, too, honey.

Frankie: Okay, Mom. I made sure all your medicine is in your purse. Oh, and I got some extra paper towels so we don't have to stop on the way home. Yes, it's the kind you like. [Pat chuckles]
Mike: There's some construction on 41. So, you might want to stay on Rybeck Road till you're out of town.
Frankie: Okay.
Pat: Thanks for letting me steal your wife, Mike. You got a good one here.
Mike: She's working out so far. Say "Hi" to Tag for me.
Pat: Okay.
Mike: He doesn't have to call me or anything.
Pat: Okay.

Frankie: What is that supposed to mean?
Pat: Oh, you're just a little free with your money.
Frankie: I eat out of dented cans from the Frugal Hoosier. This was a hand-me-down from our cleaning lady at work!
Pat: Why are you so angry?
Frankie: How did you get like this, huh? When did you become... you're just so... licking my face and shaking down my friends for money. And what's the deal with the paper towels? Stop telling people they're so strong you can make curtains out of them. Who would want to do that?! I love you, and I'm lucky to still have you, but I wish you would stop embarrassing me with your...
Pat: I'm embarrassing you? You think I'm embarrassing?
Frankie: [sighs] I'm sorry. Wait. I didn't mean that. I'm not saying I have a drinking problem, but I... [chuckles] I can't hold my Frankietinis, you know? I've been saying crazy things all day. I told someone I like scallions. [chuckles] What?
Pat: You know, I think maybe I'll go check on Sue. [voice breaking] She's always happy to see me.

Pat: Okay, fine. Axl, listen to your mom and clean up your mess. [winks]
Frankie: I saw that.
Pat: What?
Frankie: You winked. You just winked.
Pat: Wh... There was something in my eye.
Frankie: No, this is something in your eye. This is a wink. I know what a wink is. It means, "Don't listen to your mom. She's crazy."
Pat: [gasps] It does not.
Frankie: Oh, yes, it does. Janet and I do it about you all the time. [Axl winks at Pat and she winks at him] Just wipe up the floor, Axl, before you leave the kitchen.
Pat: You heard your mother. [Frankie walks away] I'm already up. I'll just do it.

Pat: And so then, just by looking at the messages on his phone and the receipts in his wallet, Castle figured out that the bad guy made a fake ID to get into the Russian Embassy.
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Pat: Such a clever show.

Pat: I brought... Fudge.
Axl: Awesome!
Sue: Thanks, grandma!
Frankie: Okay, guys, just a couple.
Pat: Oh, Frankie. It's fudge. It's Christmas.
Axl: Oh, mom gets out-mommed by grandma. Merry Christmas to me.

Pat: Okay, kids.
Sue: What's up, Grandma?
Pat: Well, your grandpa and I were chatting on the way down here, and we thought that we would give you all a little something extra... It's not your Christmas. It's just... for... a-fun.
Axl: $100! Oh, my God!
Sue: [screams] Grandma, you're the best!
Brick: My first Benjamin!
Frankie: Mom, that's an awful lot of money.
Pat: Oh, well, we can't take it with us, right?