Frankie: Hey, Brick, let's go.
Brick: I'm ready.
Mike: Wow, look at you... All wearing a skirt and everything. Who you supposed to be?
Aunt Edie: He's Shirley Temple.
Brick: You don't recognize me? From history? Okay. I'll give you a hint. I died from bayonet wounds in the Great War. [Scottish accent] I'm Sergeant Charles MacKenzie, the Scottish World War I hero. Look, I don't expect a lot of adults to get it.
Mike: I don't think a lot of kids are gonna get it either.

Brick: Did you guys know that you can find anything on the Internet? And I mean anything.
Mike: Like what exactly?
Brick: Like, I looked up "Moby Dick," the hard edition.
Mike: Oh. You didn't.
Brick: And you can't believe what came up.
Mike: Oh, I'm afraid we can.
Brick: All these first editions and stuff. It's all right there on rareprintbooks.com.
Mike: Oh.
Frankie: See?
Mike: Oh. Good for you, Brick.
Frankie: That's what the Internet is for... books.
Brick: Oh, and then I met some guy online who wants to meet me at the park.

[Brick sits on the curb at a table with a tip jar and a sign which reads "Information $1"]
Boy: Hey, I got a history test coming up. Who was Abraham Lincoln's vice president?
Brick: Actually, he had two... Hannibal Hamlin, then Andrew Johnson, who became president after Lincoln was assassinated.
Boy: Sweet. Thanks. [puts a dollar in Brick's jar]
Brick: Tell your friends!

Mike: Look, Brick, you know all the people that wrote these books you read?
Brick: Authors.
Mike: Yeah, I know what they're called, Brick. Point is, they had to actually do something to have something to write about, to... to experience stuff around 'em. Nobody wrote a book about reading a book.
Brick: Actually, they did. The Neverending Story, which was first published in German under the title Die Unendliche Geschichte. [whispers] Geschichte.

Brick: I am not coming to the wedding. I will not be having the beef or the fish.
Frankie: You're coming, and it's hilarious you think there's a choice of food. It's gonna be pinwheels from the Frugal Hoosier.
Brick: But there's gonna be a bookmobile. I don't think you get this. I'll be moving with books.
Mike: Sorry, Brick, your weird Uncle's getting married, and you gotta be there. That's the last word.
Brick: Fine, then this will be my last word, because I'm never speaking to either of you ever again. Farewell. Actually, that's not a very good last word. "Farewell" has been a lot of people's last word, but it will not be mine. I'm gonna go think of a more haunting last word and then say it to you. Until then, good day... Which is not my last word.

[Brick holds a stethoscope to the safe as he turns the dial]
Sue: What are you doing?
Brick: Shh! I saw this on Safe Crackers.
Sue: Did it work?
Brick: I don't know. After five minutes, I switched over to Whale Wars. But I do feel fairly confident that I can commandeer a Japanese harpoon ship.

Brick: Please, Axl. Come on. Just... Just give me the book back.
Axl: Yeah, okay. [chuckles]
Brick: [exhales deeply] Thank you.
Axl: Professor Faxon has been dead the whole time.
Brick: [screams] No!
Axl: The Seventh Circle only exists in Professor Faxon's mind!
Brick: [screams] No!
Axl: Planet Nowhere is just Earth four million years ago!
Brick: [screams] No! [drops to the ground]
Axl: [gasps] Oh! Brick? I think I killed Brick!

Brick: So I don't want to be it?
Mike: Right.
Brick: But doesn't it have all the power?
Frankie: If you're it, you have to chase people.
Brick: Who says? If I'm it, don't I make all the decisions? [whispers] It.

Brick: Can I ask you a question? Why do I need to make friends with kids, anyway? I mean-- I mean, what's the point? They're not interested in what I have to say, and I'm certainly not interested in their conversations. You've seen them in the halls. They shove, they kick. They take delight in screaming for no reason. If somebody farts, it's the highlight of their day. They chase each other around so that way, they may in turn be chased themselves. I still don't understand that one.
Dr. Fulton: Well, y-yeah, Brick, but... everyone needs friends.
Brick: Well, I do have friends the librarian, the crossing guard, you.
Dr. Fulton: Oh. Oh, well, thank you, Brick. That-- oh. [chuckles] That gets me right here. But I really mean friends your own age.
Brick: But if you look at the entirety of my life, won't I actually be spending more time with adults than kids, anyway?
Dr. Fulton: Sure, but...
Brick: Think about it. If the whole point of this is to prepare me to be able to make connections with adults later in my life, aren't I actually ahead of the other kids in that regard?
Dr. Fulton: Uh, I-in theory...
Brick: So... why is it so important for me to make friends with kids?

Ms. Dunlap: And now with no further ado, your class historian, Brick Heck, will take you on a magical, musical journey of your years at Orson Elementary. Brick? [under breath] You better blow the doors off this place.
Brick: [to microphone] Memories. I could show you all pictures of your time here at Orson Elementary, but those would be my memories, not yours. So instead, I invite you to close your eyes and picture your own memories. Remember the field trip to the Indiana Dunes in second grade? I don't, but maybe you do. Maybe you had a great time. What about the time that you and your friend and your other friend locked arms on the playground? Boy, you guys are close. And now sit back and enjoy a musical montage of all your best memories, artfully put together in your own imagination, while I hum the tune to the appropriate, if not overused, graduation anthem, "We Are Young" by Fun [hums "We Are Young"] [students giggle]
Girl: Who is that?
Boy: Did we vote for him?
Girl: He's weird.
Frankie: [v.o.] So Brick left elementary school with his reputation intact.
Brick: Nailed it.
Ms. Dunlap: This isn't over. I will hunt you like a dog in the street. [loudly] Well, wasn't that delightful? And now Mimi Millhauser on the flutophone.