J.D.: I can't believe you did your residency here, too?
Pete: Are you kidding me? We lived, we loved, we sang, for crying out loud. Laverne, you remember that time you and I got a little crazy, right? Went down to the waterfall, stripped off our scrubs, dove in. Remember
Nurse Roberts: You hitting the crack pipe?
Pete: See, that's the kinda magic I'm talking about, buddy.

Elliot: Laverne, did you ever notice that in hospitals, even though you're surrounded by, like, hundreds of people, it's still so easy to get lost in your own thoughts?
Nurse Roberts: Have you been drinkin'?

Carla: How's he doing?
Nurse Roberts: The boy's got no biscuits.
J.D.: I am trying to break someone's heart here, okay!?

Carla: Happy birthday.
Nurse Roberts: Oh, dammit, people, I've been here twenty-three years. For the last time, I'm allergic to coconut.

Carla: [gasps] Laverne!
[Nurse Robert's face is horrifically inflamed]
Nurse Roberts: Good cake, though.

J.D.: [v.o.] It's weird how much Dr. Casey has influenced me in such a short time.
J.D.: Bink!
Nurse Roberts: Hey! Bink you!

J.D.: [v.o.] I guess I could go home. But there's plenty of important stuff I need to do around here.
J.D.: Hey, Laverne. What'd you give me if I get this jelly bean into your cleavage?
Nurse Roberts: A concussion.

Carla: I've told Elliot a million times that she would be a good chief resident, but she just ignored me.
Nurse Roberts: Maybe she's racist.
Carla: Whatever. It's fine, it's fine. It's not like all my friends are gonna go to Molly for advice.
Nurse Roberts: Mmm-hmm.
Dr. Molly Clock: Nurse Roberts, if you still wanna talk about that situation with your husband, we can go to my office now.
Nurse Roberts: Excuse me.

Nurse Roberts: Dr. Reid. Would you sign this for me, please?
Elliot: Sure! So, what are you doing this weekend, Laverne?
Nurse Roberts: Minding my own business. How about you?
Elliot: Hopefully lighting the crap out of Saint Martha's auditorium.
Nurse Roberts: Yippee.

Carla: How was surgery?
Turk: Oh, it was fine.
Nurse Roberts: Honey bear, you look blue. Have a cookie.
Carla: Nah-ah-ah, Laverne. No more jackin' up my man's blood sugar just so you can buy yourself a camper.
Turk: So this is all a big joke to you guys? 'Cause this is my life, and I don't think it's funny.
Nurse Roberts: Now I gotta try to get back in on that craps game in the basement.