Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it.

Rachel: No. Come on, you guys! Come on, it's only 1 1 :30. Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore.
Monica: Rachel, that's all we do.

Chandler: That's why I don't want to go tonight. I'm afraid I'll say something stupid.
Monica: You mean that "guy thing" where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you?
Joey: Hey, you know about that?

Rachel: Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more vodka for me.

Judy Geller: So who's the mystery man?
Monica: Well, he's a doctor.
Judy Geller: A real doctor?
Monica: No, a doctor of meat.

Monica: So listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but I'm no longer at my job. I had to leave it.
Judy Geller: Why?
Monica: Because they made me.
Judy Geller: You were fired? What are you gonna do?
Jack Geller: Judy, relax. This is our little Harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Ross: ln the bank.
Monica: In the bank.
Jack Geller: There you go. So she dips into her savings. That's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine. And if you need a little extra you know where to find it. [pulls a penny from behind Monica's ear]
Monica: Anything larger back there?

Monica: Let, go. I'm a tiny little woman.

[Kathy comes into the apartment and hugs Monica]
Kathy: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes, thank you!

Monica: I was laughing.
Chandler: Out loud?
Monica: Well, I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.

Joey: Okay, we need to really start looking out for Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole. And I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica: Why would I care where Chandler is? You know, sometimes I don't even like Chandler.
Joey: Okay.