Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Phoebe: I'm sorry. I wasn't looking and the store won't take it back, because you signed for it.
Monica: When did I sign for it?
Phoebe: When I was you. You know what, it's all Joey's fault, because he left his nose open.
Monica: Did you make brownies today?

Monica: Okay, we're gonna need a distraction.
Rachel: That's it.
Monica: I got it. The second Ross walks in, I want you to take him to your bedroom and do whatever you do that makes him go "rheeeee!"

Chandler: Besides, worst comes to worst. I'll be your boyfriend.
Monica: [snickers] Yeah, right.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Monica: You made a joke, right? So I laughed.
Chandler: [laughs] A little too hard. What, am I not boyfriend material?
Monica: No, you're Chandler. You know. Chandler!
Chandler: Okay, so we've established my name, and hit me. But, theoretically, say we weren't friends. Say it's a blind date. I show up at your door and I'm, like, "Hey, nice to meet you. Hey. Hey."
Monica: I'd probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.

Rachel: So he stole a couple bucks from me. Big deal. At least he got me something with it.
Monica: That's mine.

Chandler: Before we go out there, I've got a present for you.
Monica: Honey, I'm not going to put my hand in your pocket.

Chandler: So the fact that I'm a doctor and my wife's a reverend, that's important to you?
Erica: Yeah. I read some great applications but I thought, "Who better than a minister to raise a child?"
Monica: Amen.
Erica: Plus, I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor.
Monica: Oh, good hands. Healing hands.
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the Bible say anything about adoption?
Monica: It says, "Do it." "And behold, she did adopt unto them a baby. And it was good."
Erica: Wow.
Chandler: Yeah, wow.

Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.