Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I talked my way into a job, Tonya talked her way out of one.
Vanessa: You gotta fire Tonya.
Rochelle: Vanessa, let me talk to her first.
Vanessa: Rochelle, I don't have time for that. I'm losing more customers than a Muslim rib shack.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ah salaam a lick 'em!
Vanessa: She broke up two marriages, she outed Jerome's uncle, and she told Gloria about her mole.
Rochelle: She told Gloria about her mole?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, Lord! Not the mole!
Vanessa: Everybody knows how sensitive Gloria is about that mole.
Rochelle: She ain't say nothing about her mustache, did she?
Vanessa: She didn't have to.
Rochelle: Oh! Oh, Vanessa.
Vanessa: Rochelle, either you fire her or I'm going to have to fire you.

Vanessa: I need to get my hair dryer fixed.
Julius: Just buy yourself a new one.
Vanessa: Ooh!

Rochelle: No, girl. We're gonna have dinner at Domaine et Mer, and we're spending a night at the Times Square Regency Hotel.
Vanessa: Ooh, a hotel. Not a motel.
Rochelle: Oh, no, I don't do outside hallways.
Vanessa: [chuckles] Oh, that sounds good. I was married once. For our anniversary, he took me to a Knicks game. I broke up with him at halftime.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And ended up going home with Bernard King.

Vanessa: Rochelle, I'll have you know I have a very precise system that's worked for nine months.
Rochelle: Really? What is it?
Vanessa: Every time the Jets win, I use my green toothbrush.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Four out of five dentists think she's crazy.
Gloria: And I pluck three mole hairs before every game.
Shay: And I been eating two chicken-fried bananas before every game.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just two?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I realized my mistake, and Vanessa realized that going out with Kill Moves wasn't a mistake at all.
Rochelle: You were out all night?
Vanessa: Oh, girl, that's just the start of it. We opened the champagne, headed for the seaport. There was a pink helicopter waiting for me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You can hear about the rest of Vanessa's date at www.vanessasbigdatewithkillmoves.tv

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my dad was talking sense into his woman, a woman was talking some sense into me.
Vanessa: Boy, are you crazy? You are lucky she just threw you out.
Chris: But, V--
Vanessa: Chris, you challenged her authority. You left her no choice.

Chris: Okay, how am I supposed to talk to her if she won't listen to anything I say?
Vanessa: Chris, you are a child. Parents don't negotiate with children.

Vanessa: Girl, guess who asked me out?
Rochelle: Who?
Vanessa: Michael.
Rochelle: Mailman Michael?
Vanessa: No.
Rochelle: Garbage man Michael?
Vanessa: No.
Rochelle: Her man Michael?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She went out with him last week.
Vanessa: Your brother Michael.
Rochelle: What?! Vanessa, stop playing.
Vanessa: Girl, I'm serious. He wants to take me to dinner and everything.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Everything means nothing but dinner.

Vanessa: Well, all I know is the Giants are gonna lose before the Jets.
Monk: I'll tell you what. If the Giants lose before the Jets, the barbershop will pay for you ladies to have a night out on the town.
Vanessa: Oh-oh, well, start saving.
Monk: But what if we win?
Vanessa: That- That is not going to happen.
Rochelle: Since it's not gonna happen, say anything. Buy everybody a new car. Cook dinner for all the men for a month. Better yet, go out with Kill Moves.
Vanessa: All right, little Miss Naysayer, I'll do that. If we lose, I'll go out with Kill Moves.

Louis: So where you been, Chris?
Chris: Oh, I been with Doc. He's going to make his famous macaroni and cheese.
Louis: Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
Ms. Watkins: Good.
Vanessa: Cook it fast. I'm hungry.